Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: surrounded by testosterone
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The pertinent question is what does "refusing to permit the move" look like?
If she will voluntarily not move because the guy she broke off an engagement with 8.5 years ago doesn't want her to... that's surprising and I'm not sure what I'd do, in your shoes. If you were driving for visits, I'd tell you to say no. Five hours is on the verge of do-able, for a weekend. I think seven hours would mean you wouldn't visit as often. But if you're flying twice a month...is the difference a big deal?
According to federal law, she cannot be restricted from moving (unless she's a felon, but then it wouldn't be your husband's permission she'd need!). Even if she agreed to forgo her right to relocate, since there's a love interest involved, I suspect that if your husband actually tells her no, she will feel that whatever reasons he gives are frivolous and she will justify reneging on the agreement. And the court will not tell her she can't move.
Or, does the agreement say your husband gets custody if she moves without his permission? That could arguably be enforceable, although it's not a certainty. Do you guys want custody? How would the kid feel about it? Moving with you would be no less a move than moving with her - although he already has connections where you live, whereas everything would be new to him, where she's going. But still - new school, new sports teams, new friends... Perhaps saying you want to invoke the custody clause if she moves would make her reflect on exactly how important and stable this new BF is to her. Is he worth losing her kid? Would he move where she lives, to keep her from losing her kid?
One woman in a house full of men: my soul mate:
... twin sons:
(HS seniors) ... step-son:
(a sophomore) ... our little man:
(a first grader) ... and there is another female in the house, after all