Join Date: May 2005
Location: at home in the heartland
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Thanks for the replies!
Pinksprkly -- yes, I think some of it is in how he was raised -- he is European and had a lot of freedom in a safe, small village in Germany. Parents didn't keep a close eye on their kids then (nor did they probably need to). I'm not, really, truly, not, an overprotective parent -- I let my kids run around on our land, climb tall trees, swim in lakes that are probably contaminated with who-knows-what (I actually saw a dog poop in a lake they swim in regularly, oh well), get bumps and bruises trying new things. I think what concerns me most (and you are helping me clarify this, thank you!) is that I feel, deep in my mama bones, that his "radar" is broken. What you're doing (letting your kids play in a nearby park, etc.) you know, on some level of your mama-intuition, is okay, just the way you instinctively don't trust other situations that from the outside might seem similar, if this makes sense -- but I don't trust his sense of what is safe like I trust mine and other people in my children's lives. Hmm, this is something to think about...
In terms of emotional connection, by urging of his partner, he is getting tested for a personality disorder this week -- he just doesn't connect, he can't create intimacy, he is really, truly self-absorbed and doesn't see the needs others have around him. In some ways, this concerns me more than the physical safety part!
ssh -- I have checked on the legality of these things, and, believe it or not, there is no age limit where I live for leaving your child alone or unsupervised -- however, you can be arrested for child endangerment or neglect if what you are doing is found to be unsafe -- there are no hard and fast rules, though.