Legal Question - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Thread Tools
#1 of 5 Old 07-29-2010, 09:55 PM - Thread Starter
koby58's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 48
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm not sure if this belongs here or in single parents, but I'll post here.

Background: S is my niece, she is 25. She has a four (almost five) year old son C. Father is her ex-boyfriend K. S's mom G lives in California (every one else is in Illinois.) My mother J raised S from the age of three onward (G was a drug addict and lost custody. S lived with J and eventually her father. G is now clean.)

Present: S has been asking to move in with J for the past few months. J keeps saying no. S threatens to move in with G and J will never see C again (who she has helped raise since birth). She doesn't, the cycle continues. She announced yesterday to J that she is moving to California at the end of August. It's all been planned out everything.

C doesn't know. K doesn't know. No one else in the family knows except for J and I. If S leaves the state with her son without informing his father, what will happen? Does grandma have any rights here?

K and S were never married, but only separated a year ago. There is no child support or agreement with custody. K is a good dad.

DSS - 28 ribbonrainbow.gif, DSD - 23 geek.gif, DD1 - 21 ribbonrainbow.gifphotosmile2.gif, DD2 - 18 blahblah.gifmodifiedartist.gif
koby58 is offline  
#2 of 5 Old 07-29-2010, 10:08 PM
PoppyMama's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: In my own delusions.
Posts: 3,305
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Well...I generally say that anyone not supporting their child is not a great parent. Aside from that, if your mother fears that your niece (it would be a lot easier to understand without the alphabet) is leaving out of spite and niece's son is being raised poorly then I would be tempted to tell the father so he can file something to stop the move.
PoppyMama is offline  
#3 of 5 Old 07-29-2010, 10:39 PM
mtiger's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,377
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well... unless Dad has established paternity, he has no say until he does so. So Mom can move with her child any time she wants, anywhere she wants. Dad needs to establish paternity, etc.

Your mother may have no standing whatsoever to file for anything.
mtiger is offline  
#4 of 5 Old 07-30-2010, 09:03 AM
Smithie's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,529
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
Your mother definitely has no standing, because she is the great-aunt, not the grandma, if I follow your story correctly.

I'm sorry that your mom is upset, and understand that she may not think the move is in the child's best interests, but I fail to see how anything would be improved if she were to drag the non-support-paying exbf into it, in an attempt to what? Sue for custody? Get ahold of C and give him back to his great-aunt to raise? Not likely.

Your cousin may be a total jerk to manipulate your mom like this, but unless there is an existing custody order, she has the right to move with her child wherever she wishes. You are also have the right, as a member of the human race, to tell K that she's planning to leave - but I don't know that you would get the result you're hoping for. Are you even positive he's the biofather? Is he on the birth certificate?
Smithie is offline  
#5 of 5 Old 08-01-2010, 08:15 PM
VocalMinority's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: surrounded by testosterone
Posts: 1,309
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
You need to do the right thing and tell K, so he can take legal steps to protect his parental rights before she leaves. The outcome will be different if she has already moved when he files for formal visitation, because there will be a different "status quo". Understand - he can't stop her from moving. But the extent of his visitation rights may be different if he waits. Also, if he establishes his parental rights before she moves, he should at least have the legal option to ask that the child remain here, in his custody. It's unlikely that would happen, with a child so young, unless there are serious issues with the mother. But that is impossible, if he waits until she has already moved.

One woman in a house full of men:  my soul mate:    or... twin sons:(HS seniors) ... step-son:  (a sophomore) ... our little man:   (a first grader) ... and there is another female in the house, after all:  our
VocalMinority is online now  

Quick Reply
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off