Join Date: May 2007
Location: by the ocean, lakes and mountains
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Single mom to Rain (1/93) , grad student, and world traveler
Aww... I'm sorry. That sounds really rough.
I'm not a stepmom but I do have a 17 year old daughter, and I guess my first thought would be - why not tell her how you feel? Not in an accusing way, but just something like, "I'm feeling like our relationship has gotten really distant lately, and that makes me sad. I miss doing things with you." Maybe even sending a card, if that would be easier.
She might not respond right away, but maybe it would make an impression.
I think this is fantastic advice.
I'm not a step mother, but I was a step daughter. When I was 17, I treated my step dad, Joe, the same way your stepdaughter treats you. I yelled at him, treated him like crap, called him when my ride got drunk at a party and expected (knew) him to come get me, even if I had screamed at him four hours earlier. I treated him the way I should have treated my bio dad. The difference is I trusted Joe, I knew he loved me and it was safe for me to rebel against him. He'd never leave me stranded. My bio dad just didn't care enough to bother.
I didn't realize it at the time, but my mom did and she helped Joe and I stay connected, if not close during that time. Joe either didn't take it personally or forgave me, by the time I was 20, we very close. He died over 20 years ago, and I still can't talk or write about him without crying. I married a man a lot like Joe, DS is named after him, and when I talk about my dad, I mean Joe.