Join Date: May 2009
Location: North Carolina
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ETA: especially considering that the information about daddy being angry when he drinks was, essentially, unsolicited. You asked how much daddy drinks, and his response was that daddy gets angry. That's a cognitive association he has, pretty strongly. Again, just IMO.
I suppose what I'm trying to say is ... it's a red flag in my book. I'm guessing that it's a red flag in your book too, or else you wouldn't have posted a new thread about it?
His mom is DP's ex (way long ago), so things are a little sticky there. I told DP what he said and he definitely raised an eyebrow, but wasn't too worried. Again, it's been a long time since his mom has said anything.
Might be a good time to ask, though. How do you do that, totally casually?
I understand the concern, but keep in mind that you have only glimpsed a little, tiny corner of whatever the truth is.
Even if the man has a glass of wine with dinner every night - not just once a week! - that doesn't necessarily indicate a "problem".
The kid could know the word "alcohol", not because it's such an all-encompassing part of his family life, but simply because someone told him once that the reason he can't have a sip of daddy's drink is because alchohol isn't good for kids.
His parents could have had an isolated argument in which Mom said something off the cuff, like, "I didn't think you'd get so upset about this. Maybe you're just mad because you were drinking!" In the kid's mind, that could have turned into, "Oh! Alcohol makes people mad!" Or, maybe it wasn't that big a deal - even to the kid - but because he repeated it (and doesn't have the verbal skills to explain the context), you naturally wonder if Dad drinking and getting mad is a major pattern, in their family...
Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) , Emma (5/03) , Evan (7/05) , & Jenna (6/09)
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing Aaron Ambrose (11/07)
I'd casually ask but it could be quite innocent too.
He could drink while watching sports games & yells at the tv.
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