Rare sarcastic vent re MY ex (not DH's) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 02-20-2011, 07:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes, I know.  It's much more likely that *I* DIDN'T PAY ATTENTION and COMPLETELY FORGOT whether or not my kids are COMING HOME - on a school night, no less.  After all, I do that all the time.  They leave the house and I just FORGET what day to expect them to return.  Maybe they'll be home for dinner.  Or maybe they won't be back 'til next Tuesday.  Oh, well.  They'll turn up some time.  Yep.  That's just the kind of mom I am!

 

Besides, it would be COMPLETELY uncharacteristic of YOU to do a piss-poor job communicating your plans and leave someone else frustrated, wondering what your intentions are.  No.  NONE of your friends, family members, coworkers or life partners have EVER mentioned you having a problem with that!  

 

So, I'm sure you're right.  It MUST have been MY mistake, and not yours.

 

Jeez.  We're not in grade school; we're almost 40!  When you forget to do something, and someone calls you on it, do you REALLY think that if you just insist you did it...and if you use a sufficiently high-handed, condescending tone...that the other person will ACTUALLY be convinced THEY screwed up?  Honestly.

 

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One woman in a house full of men:  my soul mate:    or... twin sons:(HS seniors) ... step-son:  (a sophomore) ... our little man:   (a first grader) ... and there is another female in the house, after all:  our
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#2 of 7 Old 02-21-2011, 01:13 PM
 
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:hugs: I know EXACTLY how you feel!  :)

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#3 of 7 Old 02-23-2011, 08:05 AM
 
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Ugh, I so feel your pain. My xh does a lot of that.

 

It's maddening.

 

"You didn't tell me that!" or "No, I told you, you must have forgotten."

 

Um, ok.

 

irked.gif

 

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#4 of 7 Old 02-23-2011, 11:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, SlingMama & Chantelle!  Sometimes you just want to know someone understands your frustration!

 

Surprisingly, my ex just emailed me and apologized for the "miscommunication".

 

Overall, we get along well and are very flexible and considerate with each other.  So, I focus mostly on being grateful, that I don't have to deal with all the b.s. DH does, with his ex.  But that almost makes it worse, when X and I have stupid exchanges like we did, the other night.  They're so easily avoided, if both of us make just a teeny effort!  

 

He asked - when he showed up at my door Fri. afternoon (on the wrong weekend) - to switch weekends, because his mother was visiting from out-of-state, this past Sunday.  I said OK.  Had he said, "Mom leaves Monday morning, so can the kids spend the night Sunday and I'll bring them home in the morning, before their bus comes?" I would also have said yes (even though they don't normally sleep over on school nights).  

 

But (I assume, based on past experience), he forgot to tell me in advance about the visit; he told his wife I'd already agreed to everything, so she wouldn't nag him about calling me; then, when it was time for him to pick up the kids, he panicked, figuring I'd probably go along with switching weekends, but I might say no about Sunday night.  So, instead of asking, he went through this charade of acting surprised when I called him at bedtime Sunday night, wondering where they were.

 

I realize he was just trying to cover his own a**, with his mom and wife.  But it's undeniably insulting to my intelligence, to imply I'd forget what day to expect my kids home.

 

*Sigh*  All in all, just another little reminder that it's not so much a failure, but a positive adjustment, that he is married to his wife, who's more tolerant of how he communicates - and I'm married to my husband, who communicates with me just fine!

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One woman in a house full of men:  my soul mate:    or... twin sons:(HS seniors) ... step-son:  (a sophomore) ... our little man:   (a first grader) ... and there is another female in the house, after all:  our
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#5 of 7 Old 02-24-2011, 05:17 AM
 
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An excellent reminder - you're right!

 

And I can only hope to be with my ex where you are with yours someday.

 

I could write so much more, but it's not worth it. Sigh.


Anyway, it's great that you're both able to communicate that well with each other!

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#6 of 7 Old 02-24-2011, 10:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chantelle691 View Post

...And I can only hope to be with my ex where you are with yours someday.

 

I could write so much more, but it's not worth it. Sigh...

 


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One woman in a house full of men:  my soul mate:    or... twin sons:(HS seniors) ... step-son:  (a sophomore) ... our little man:   (a first grader) ... and there is another female in the house, after all:  our
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#7 of 7 Old 02-24-2011, 02:49 PM
 
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Oh I agree Chantelle.  My ex sounds a lot like yours Jeanine.  It's really frustrating to have deal with the childish crap.  I'll be so glad when this mediation is OVER!

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