Have a VERY UNIQuE situation and need HELP PLEASE!!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 07-06-2011, 10:24 PM - Thread Starter
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I am a step parent of a 5 month old baby that we have had custody of since he was a week old. The biological mother is not able to care of any of her three children.(The other 2 kids live with their dads). Well now here is the problem both biological parents gave guardianship to me!! She cant raise the baby and now my soon to be ex husband wants to terminate all his rights over to me. I have no idea where to start what papers I need to file or anything. I am willing to take this child as my own and have treated him as such since he was a week old.( I am 40 yrs old a mother to a 20 yr old who has 2 kids of her own, so I am a grandparent too) I know the difficulties of being a single parent I have raised my daughter on my own 20 yrs before and I am willing to do it again for this beautiful baby with some medical problems. Please any advise would be welcome for this UNIQUE situation.

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#2 of 5 Old 07-06-2011, 11:44 PM
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Congratulations on your new baby. I have a 5 month old too and this age is so sweet. As far as advice on how to proceed, I think you might want to head over to the adoptition/foster forum since you are most likely a legal stranger to your baby. Good luck on your new journey.
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#3 of 5 Old 07-07-2011, 06:52 AM - Thread Starter
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I am his step mom too cause I am still married to his dad that is why I am so confused and thank you I will try there too

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#4 of 5 Old 07-07-2011, 09:38 AM
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I would think only an attorney could give you useful advice for this situation. Good luck -- what an emotional time this must be! 

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#5 of 5 Old 07-07-2011, 04:50 PM
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I'm a custodial step-mom, too (totally different circumstances, of course).  I don't think we have one shred of parental rights after a divorce, unless some extra efforts are made, before-hand.  It sounds like the most straightforward thing to do is to handle this as a private adoption, where both parents sign over their rights to you.  But, as a previous poster suggested, definitely consult an attorney!


Just a thought:  Are you sure you want to do this all on your own?  Both biological parents may waive visitation and involvement in the child's life, and leave you as the de facto guardian, if they so choose and you are willing.  Even so, neither of them is legally entitled to walk away from their financial responsibilities for him (unless you choose to adopt him and they agree).  Will his medical needs be expensive, over the course of his life?  Does either bio parent have access to employer-provided health coverage?  Do you?  


If you were to conclude that having their financial help would benefit him, that would not in any way detract from your selflessness in loving and raising him, and his understanding that you - the person who has been there, to meet his needs, since infancy - are his mother.

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One woman in a house full of men:  my soul mate:    or... twin sons:(HS seniors) ... step-son:  (a sophomore) ... our little man:   (a first grader) ... and there is another female in the house, after all:  our
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