Hello, I am brand new to the whole blended family dynamics. I have a 3 year old daughter and my boyfriend has an 8 yr old daughter and a 6 year old son. At this point, we've all hung out together several times, both alone and with other friends and family, but I am still just a "friend" of their dad's. We are struggling with figuring out how to tell his kids (my daughter knows as far as she's seen us together and he spends the night at our house once or twice a week). I'm partially convinced that his 8 year old must suspect something, but he's not so convinced. We'd like to take the next step and tell them, so does anyone have any advice? Currently, the plan is for me to move in with them in April 2012, so we have lots of time to work things out before that big milestone and I want to use that time as wisely as possible.
Start slow in this situation. Kids are really smart and do know whats going on. They can feel as if you are taking their dad away from them. Do as much together as a family BUT only if you know that you two are serious and are in it for the long haul. Also, same goes for moving in with each other. Kids need stability. You need to know that you two will be a strong, loving couple before you bring children into the mix. I've been there. As the child and the parent.