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#1 of 3 Old 12-18-2011, 05:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, I can't  believe it. She emailed a scanned signed copy yesterday with no alterations. We gave her all full snow days (because really, how many of those can there be a year...maybe 3 tops?) and everything else is split based on where the kids are sleeping that evening (since evenings are already split up pretty evenly). No him having to ask her permission every time he wants to leave the kids with me or his relatives on his time. I am so glad I pushed him on this. He seems to feel good that he can stand up to her and get want he deserves as far as time with the kids goes. A year ago he would have just let her have what she wanted just to try and keep the peace and hope she'll eventually stop being mean and vindictive. We are very happy about that!

 

We still have a long road ahead though. The term Vacation Day still has not be defined precisely and it's still up in the air what is happening on the days she needs to leave for work early (she wants us to pick the kids up at her house at 350pm, but he has told her he will only pick the kids up at school at 320pm or at her house at the regular 445pm time to avoid the kids getting bounced from school, to her house, to his house to karate all within a 55 minute time period). But I think we're on the right track.

 

Of course we're always suspicious...like, is she giving in so because she has something crazy she's preparing up her sleeve? Or was she really tamed by the "threat" of mediation? We'll see over the next few months I guess! Meanwhile, we have two fun days planned after Christmas with all kinds of craft projects, baking and movies (and sledding if it snows).

 

But all this has definitely taken a toll on the relationship and at point I seriously thought we may just split up. The stress plus she is the only woman he has ever seriously dated besides me, so naturally I get compared to her a lot. I have to hear a lot about how he's afraid I'll turn into her or "burn him" like she did. Most of the time I can be understanding of where he's coming from with that, but after all the stuff going on this week, I kind of lost it :( I think things are on the mend now, but I felt sick to my stomach most of day today because of all that.

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#2 of 3 Old 12-20-2011, 05:50 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PixieAlly View Post

Yeah, I can't  believe it. She emailed a scanned signed copy yesterday with no alterations. We gave her all full snow days (because really, how many of those can there be a year...maybe 3 tops?) and everything else is split based on where the kids are sleeping that evening (since evenings are already split up pretty evenly). No him having to ask her permission every time he wants to leave the kids with me or his relatives on his time. I am so glad I pushed him on this. He seems to feel good that he can stand up to her and get want he deserves as far as time with the kids goes. A year ago he would have just let her have what she wanted just to try and keep the peace and hope she'll eventually stop being mean and vindictive. We are very happy about that!

 

We still have a long road ahead though. The term Vacation Day still has not be defined precisely and it's still up in the air what is happening on the days she needs to leave for work early (she wants us to pick the kids up at her house at 350pm, but he has told her he will only pick the kids up at school at 320pm or at her house at the regular 445pm time to avoid the kids getting bounced from school, to her house, to his house to karate all within a 55 minute time period). But I think we're on the right track.

thumb.gif

 

Of course we're always suspicious...like, is she giving in so because she has something crazy she's preparing up her sleeve?

I know!  Isn't it crazy that you have to think like that?  DH and I just told DSS (who lives with us) he could go on a (moderately expensive) ski trip with the church youth group, the weekend after Christmas break.  Evidently, DSS told his Mom and a few days later, DH received an unexpected check for the same amount from her, with not a word of explanation.  It is so out-of-character (she doesn't pay CS and periodically offers to pay for other things, but doesn't...plus she and DH are in the middle of high conflict over Christmas) that DH hung onto the check for a few days before depositing it, trying to figure out what angle she might be playing and whether he'd later regret depositing the check.  Sadly, in the past, unexpected gestures of friendliness or cooperation are nearly always associated with some type of ambush - giving treats with the right hand so DH doesn't notice what her left hand is doing.  I am SO not the type of person who thinks this suspiciously, but given her history, it's only rational to do so!

 

Or was she really tamed by the "threat" of mediation? We'll see over the next few months I guess! Meanwhile, we have two fun days planned after Christmas with all kinds of craft projects, baking and movies (and sledding if it snows).

 

But all this has definitely taken a toll on the relationship and at point I seriously thought we may just split up. The stress plus she is the only woman he has ever seriously dated besides me, so naturally I get compared to her a lot. I have to hear a lot about how he's afraid I'll turn into her or "burn him" like she did. Most of the time I can be understanding of where he's coming from with that, but after all the stuff going on this week, I kind of lost it :( I think things are on the mend now, but I felt sick to my stomach most of day today because of all that.  hug2.gif


 

 


One woman in a house full of men:  my soul mate:  partners.gif  orfencing.gif... twin sons:lurk.giflurk.gif(HS juniors) ... step-son: guitar.gif (a freshman) ... our little man: kid.gif  (a kindergartener) ... and there is another female in the house, after all:  ourdog2.gif. 
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#3 of 3 Old 12-22-2011, 12:16 PM
 
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I'm soooo happy for you two! Hopefully things will be a lot smoother for the holidays! joy.gif


Artist wife to dh_malesling.GIF. Mom to DSS superhero.gif (3 yrs) and DD (04/12).  brokenheart.gif (2/28/10). winner.jpgcd.gif

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