kblackstone444, I hope whatever the issue was that you were posting on has improved or that you received the advice you were seeking. Sending good wishes your way!
"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life."
I didn't see the post. But, if you have not made a life commitment to him, i'd consider getting out of this relationship. Especially if you have kids of your own.
Very rarely do kids who have actually spun out of control, regain control without a huge financial and time commitment by several adults. It's a full time job to fix kids when they have lost their way. Then, you have your own kids to think of. Do you want your kids exposed to this?
I say this with some experience. I dated a guy who was great to me and my daughter, but his own kids were seriously out of control. Neither one of the parents felt it was urgent. They both felt it was "typical teenage angst" and I knew it was serious. It got way, way out of control before anybody tried to help, and none of the help worked. It cost them a home, and years of turmoil...and it still didn't work.