Handling yet another new gf in Dd's life - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 09-20-2012, 08:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My dd's father is a serial dater. We've been apart for nearly four years and he has been engaged twice and had four of his six girlfriends move in with him. His last girlfriend moved out abruptly last month ( after moving in very quickly with her two kids)  and he is already seeing someone new. He gave me a heads up on the new girlfriend and knows that I think he should wait to introduce her to dd, but dd told me she came over to the house last night while she was in bed and she heard them talking. Dd is still VERY upset about the last girlfriend moving out suddenly and taking her 'siblings' with her. She told my dh today that she was happy that daddy had a girlfriend cause now he's not alone and he'll be happy. I'm starting to get worried about how the constant stream of women coming in and out of her life is affecting her. It is also worrying to me that she's focused on her father's happiness instead of the other way around kwim? Does anyone have good resources or books on this subject? Her father has a history of getting very verbally abusive with his SO( Including me) and I feel that dd is getting exposed to this each time a relationship falls apart. 


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#2 of 3 Old 09-23-2012, 06:07 PM
 
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Ravensong, I don't have any resources but my ex is also a serial dater. Not sure how old your dd is. Mine is almost 10, so we have been able to start talking about it. I've just said that I think this is just how he is, and he's probably not going to change, and yes, it is very hard for you to say goodbye to all the women (my dd gets close to). There's nothing else I can do. 

 

the verbal abuse is a concern. i would address that directly with her too if she's old enough. don't know if you are able to talk to him about it, and the impact on her.

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#3 of 3 Old 09-24-2012, 06:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for answering. She is four. We've had to talk about what getting married means and what it means to make a big commitment. I talk to him about all of it, but he either lies or just tells me what I want to hear. It's not as bad as it used to be, but is still struggling. Dd told my dh the other day that going back and forth between the houses is hardgreensad.gif


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