Sister-in-Law Problem!!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 03-16-2013, 10:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay a litte background...

My husands family is divorced. Neiter parent works.  They can't keep a house or food on the table.  We moved in his teen sister at 16 to live with us for 2 yrs.  We are military, and had to move.  She went back to her mom's for 1 1/2 years, and moved back in with us in our new house for 1 year when I kicked her out.  The last straw was I had emergency surgery b/c of a tumor.  She drove me to the doc to see if it was cancerous for my post op, b/c I could barely walk, much less drive.  She was suppose to stay.  I was in there for less than 10 min.  She left me, and went to bed.  I did not have my phone.  It was in my truck.  I called over and over from the hospital and she would not answer.  I had to walk home.  I had no money, and could not reach anyone.  We are military so it's not like I know many people around here, much less know numbers without my cell.  I flew her home over 1 yr ago.

 

Anyways.....

She is now pregnant again by a random hookup.  She lost the other one a few mths ago.  She is has already told MY family and said she can't tell me or her brother b/c we will judge her.  Actually, we are probably the only ones that could really help her, but I have my own so I don't care.  And I really hate to be that way.  My goddaughter is due soon and I have 3 girls as well.  But this has really upset my husband.  Of course I had to tell him.  But what is killing me is she is bad mouthing me to my whole town and family.  She is saying that she raised my kids, and cooked, and cleaned, while we did nothing.  Well, how I see it is she refused to get a job!!!  She smoked 1 pack a day.  She had to earn her keep... And all she did was normal stuff while I was at work.  All she did once I go home was put dishes in the dishwasher.  I didn't have her do anything more than my mother had me do as a kid...  My stepdaughter does the same stuff during the summers. She never says she "raises her sisters" How dare her say she raised my kids. I want to shut her up, but I know I can't...  What do I do? I am so pissed off.


 

Quote:

"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life."

Richard Bach

 

 

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#2 of 7 Old 03-16-2013, 11:39 AM
 
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I think the best response to petty digs and talking behind your back is to completely ignore it - if someone asks you if it is true, tell them that no, it is not, but don't go into detail and let your character and life show who you really are.  Actions speak louder than words.  

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#3 of 7 Old 03-16-2013, 12:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Tjej View Post

I think the best response to petty digs and talking behind your back is to completely ignore it - if someone asks you if it is true, tell them that no, it is not, but don't go into detail and let your character and life show who you really are.  Actions speak louder than words.  

Thanks..  I know!!!  I have really ignored it for years.  I mean, I've been married for 10 years and we haven't lived in that state just as long.  And I think what really bothers me the most, is no one sees our actions. All they have to go off of is what she says, which is all lies.That' why it makes me so mad.


 

Quote:

"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life."

Richard Bach

 

 

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#4 of 7 Old 03-17-2013, 12:38 PM
 
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Stay neutral you are a model for your kids.  They will be watching  how you deal with your sister in-law.  You know who you are and that all prevails. Talk to a friend and stay out of her drama for your kids sake. Im so sorry this is happening.  

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#5 of 7 Old 03-17-2013, 02:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks so much!! I know. I really wish it was so clean. I have a stepdaughter who lives in that small town and I don't need her aunt bad mouthing. Do you see what I'm saying. It really affects her more than anything. Because I don't ever want her (my stepdaughter) to develop those hatred thoughts about us. It's just a mess. Otherwise, I just wouldn't care!!

 

Quote:

"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life."

Richard Bach

 

 

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#6 of 7 Old 03-17-2013, 02:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by chrissy collins View Post

Stay neutral you are a model for your kids.  They will be watching  how you deal with your sister in-law.  You know who you are and that all prevails. Talk to a friend and stay out of her drama for your kids sake. Im so sorry this is happening.  

 

Quote:

"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life."

Richard Bach

 

 

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#7 of 7 Old 03-29-2013, 08:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I guess it's worse than I thought. My SD's BM started talking all kinds of BS about how I push all kinds of people away including my sister-in-law. She is just adding fuel to the BMs fire.

 

Quote:

"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life."

Richard Bach

 

 

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