In need of advice please - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 12-07-2013, 03:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi, I am new here and would like to introduce myself and ask for some advice please. I was widowed in 2010 and had a 13 year old daughter. I then met a man who was also recently widowed and had two daughters, ages 1 and 3. We got together and bought a house 18 months ago. We are engaged but I cant see a wedding in the future due to financial reasons. My partner works and I run the house, do nursery, school, college, gym runs etc and only see my Mum for some 'me' time 3 hrs a week. I left my job as I was very depressed after my husbands death and so have no friends or colleagues to speak to. My life revolves around my new 'blended' family. Youngest daughter who is now 3 is a handful and would test the patience of a saint at times so I am finding that I am suffering from anxiety all the time. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with it all and want to run away and other times I feel we were lucky to meet and come together and we have a lovely home. My partner is good to my daughter and everyone generally gets on. However my partners mother and brothers do not acknowledge either myself or my biological daughter and it is really hurting me. She has recently sent a christmas card and gifts to her son and grandchildren and left us out! Neither of our names on the cards. We received a card off his brother and he didnt include my bio daughters name. My partner knows I am hurt but hasnt done anything about it. He never speaks to his mother or brothers in front of me. I feel hurt, rejected etc and yet I am putting so much into the family that I feel exhausted. The issue now though is I just feel my partner has no backbone. My family have all been good to him, presents, cards etc for him and all of the children. I just dont know what to do next as its eating away at me all the time greensad.gif .... Thank you for giving me somewhere to ask for advice x
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#2 of 3 Old 12-08-2013, 05:34 AM
 
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Has there been other situations where they have been rude and your fiance doesn't stick up for you or "doesn't like confrontation"?

 

I would honestly not marry him regardless of finances until he talks to his family about accepting you and your daughter as apart of theirs. This is one of those things that you should definitely fix before getting into a marriage or else you will be miserable. Now I don't mean fixing your in laws..because in all honesty your in laws owe you nothing. I am talking about your fiance....he really needs to make you his priority when it comes down to things like this and it at least TRY to stick up for you.


Wife, mom of 3, obsessed with photography, crafting and blogging http://annleaartsy.blogspot.com/
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#3 of 3 Old 12-09-2013, 03:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you for your reply. Yes its happened before. No recognition when my bio daughter turned 16. Never ever puts my name or my daughters on a card. I just find it so hurtful and I feel like an outcast.
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