Has there been other situations where they have been rude and your fiance doesn't stick up for you or "doesn't like confrontation"?
I would honestly not marry him regardless of finances until he talks to his family about accepting you and your daughter as apart of theirs. This is one of those things that you should definitely fix before getting into a marriage or else you will be miserable. Now I don't mean fixing your in laws..because in all honesty your in laws owe you nothing. I am talking about your fiance....he really needs to make you his priority when it comes down to things like this and it at least TRY to stick up for you.