I'm a mom of a 5 year old and a 4 year old and I've been in a relationship with my DP for almost 2 years. We don't currently live together for geographical reasons but spend 3-10 days per month in the same place, often with the kids.
I'm sure that being geographically separated gives our sex drives a bit of a boost, but we've always been pretty active in the bedroom (even when we spent several months in the same city). We're getting married and moving in together this summer. And at some point, we'd like to have another kid or two.
I think every newly married or newly pregnant couple hears the statement "after you have kids, your sex life just won't be the same" But we already have kids, you know?
So I wonder....how has the development of your sex life been in your second (or subsequent) marriages when you already had kids and then had another child together? Meaning if your sex life was active with the 'existing' kids around, how much really changed when you had more children?
student momma to two great girls
Nope. Sex and intimacy are important to us and we make it a priority and find time. For me I was never married before I married my husband. But I had a son from a previous relationship...so yea we are pros at quickies and waiting for the more fun stuff while kids are sleeping. And then we had our daughter and our sex life was still going strong.
Now a days I am pregnant with my third and still feel like having sex but sometimes if I get heartburn or acid reflux I am not feeling particularly sexy and won't have sex. Sorry if this is TMI but who wants burp during sex and have acid in their throat/mouth?? Umm not me. So I actively avoid foods that give me that feeling just so I can have friggin sex with my husband. And being tired for me isn't an excuse either. Baby bean wakes me up before 5 am like clockwork. By the time 8 pm rolls around I have been fading since dinnertime. So I have an alarm on my phone at night that actually says go to bed with husband. It doesn't sound romantic and maybe even a bit boring but in the end we both think who cares because at least we still try.
Bottom line is kids do not have to "ruin" or change anything. Even if you go into a marriage without kids and everything is now a shock and is different then you thought it would be. Communicate, work with him, and make it work and it won't have to be that different.