A really good article. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 05-05-2014, 04:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I saw this article today, wish they'd give these out as pamphlets to step parents, as well as BOTH biological parents in every blended family situation...

 

http://www.stepmomhelp.com/repost-what-divorced-moms-should-know-about-stepmoms/#.U2gZOIFdVnN


I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#2 of 5 Old 05-08-2014, 11:12 AM
 
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Thank you for posting!  It really hit home for me.  Like some of the comments said, I am a mom and a step-mom.  I see both sides all the time.  The most poignant parts to me were feeling like an outsider to the "former family" (mom, dad, and step-child) and the feeling of being intruded upon when DSD's mother contacts her during our time.  I never recognized it as an intrusion, but that's exactly what it is.  We have so little time together as it is....


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#3 of 5 Old 05-09-2014, 10:15 AM
 
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It hadn't occurred to me that my ex's girlfriend might consider herself my kids' stepmom. I think she regrets pushing my ex to reunite with the kids. She appears to regard my son with thinly veiled contemt, though she seems to like my daughter. She had been led to believe that I was keeping the kids from my ex. Now she's probably got the job of nagging him each month to set up a visit, and the reality that he loathes to have contact with them between visits staring her in the face. I have a lot of empathy for her and the situation she's in, I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

 

I only communicate with my ex via email, so she could easily be CCed to the conversations we have, as is my husband. My ex hasn't opted to do that, and I think it's for the best... this way, he can decieve her and have an out for a visit he doesn't want to follow through on. If he were forced into more contact than he wants, he would take it out on the kids. I don't want any trouble between my ex and his girfriend because the kids are safer with her present at visits. 

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~Teresa, raising DS (Jan. 02) and DD1 (Jun. 04) and DD2 (Dec. 11) with DH.

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#4 of 5 Old 05-13-2014, 07:02 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mummoth View Post
 

It hadn't occurred to me that my ex's girlfriend might consider herself my kids' stepmom. I think she regrets pushing my ex to reunite with the kids. She appears to regard my son with thinly veiled contemt, though she seems to like my daughter. She had been led to believe that I was keeping the kids from my ex. Now she's probably got the job of nagging him each month to set up a visit, and the reality that he loathes to have contact with them between visits staring her in the face. I have a lot of empathy for her and the situation she's in, I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

 

I only communicate with my ex via email, so she could easily be CCed to the conversations we have, as is my husband. My ex hasn't opted to do that, and I think it's for the best... this way, he can decieve her and have an out for a visit he doesn't want to follow through on. If he were forced into more contact than he wants, he would take it out on the kids. I don't want any trouble between my ex and his girfriend because the kids are safer with her present at visits. 

 

Oh hugs, @Mummoth - that is so sad.

 

Kind of OT, but I often wonder what my XH has told his girlfriends as to why he never communicates with DS or sees him.  I can't imagine what kind of woman would stay with a man who willingly abandons his child, but I guess it's possible.  So awful for all of the children involved in similar situations.

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#5 of 5 Old 06-29-2014, 10:08 PM
 
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Thanks so much for sharing this!! I have been struggling with many of the things she mentions in the article. My fiance has 2 daughters and it can really be tough!! I ended up reading several articles of hers. My fiance and I have been together 3 years and I still get ignored by the girls often, thank yous are rare from them, and their mother has said some very hurtful things about me. So many things in the article are so true!! I know the girls have a mom and I in no way whatsoever want to take her place. I just want a happy home and to treat them well and in return be treated well.
I must also say that it made me look at myself in regard to my ex husband and his girlfriends. I have often not taken the time to even say hello to them because the girlfriends are usually only around a short time, but that behavior was rude of me. They are still people who don't deserve that. I'm not mean to them, but I don't acknowledge them much. However, I try to be positive with the kids when they are discussing the girlfriends by being happy for them when they do fun things together etc.
It was def a good article to read if you are on either or both sides of this situation.

I'm a single working mom of 3 wonderful kiddos. 

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