Problem with MIL.... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 08-14-2014, 03:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Problem with MIL....

My husband and I have been together for four years. I had a daughter from a previous relationship and she just turned 6. We have a son together, and he just turned 1. (Their birthdays ended up being 1 day apart!) Once we knew we were going to get married, his mother said she didn't want to be called grandma but that nana was ok. Our daughter has been calling her nana ever since. When our son was born, my MIL was approached and we asked if she wanted to change to grandma but she said nana was fine. Over the past year she slowly began referring to herself as grandma with our son and nana with our daughter. We tried to see if we could still get DD to change to grandma but it seems as though it's kinda too late now. We don't want both children to call her something different. My husband is the only father my daughter has ever known and we don't want her to feel 'different" when she does come to understand that he isn't her biological father, by her calling my MIL nana and our son calling her grandma. It really came to a head for us when the birthday cards were signed differently. The card for our son said " love grandma and grandpa" while the card for our daughter said "love grandpa tim and nana." We don't know how to approach her with this. Any suggestions would really help.
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#2 of 2 Old 08-14-2014, 03:28 PM
 
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Your husband needs to talk to her and lay down the law. She will treat both of his children the same, or she won't see either of them. You guys have ALL the power, and she is being unreasonable.

Second, she chose Nana, and that is what her grandaughter calls her, so she can get over it. It was her choice. It will confuse both your kids if this nonsense of two names continues. She wanted to be Nana, so she's Nana.

It would be different if your DD had another dad and another set of grandparents, but since step dad IS "daddy" then his parents need to accept her as a their grandchild. Immediately.

My parents did a weird thing and played favorites with my kids (who both are from me and my DH) and we spoke to them one time about it and that was that. It was awkward, but we only had to discuss it one time. No playing favorites because in the end, it hurts all the kids and their relationship with each other.
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