Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: basking in the sunshine
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Your husband needs to talk to her and lay down the law. She will treat both of his children the same, or she won't see either of them. You guys have ALL the power, and she is being unreasonable.
Second, she chose Nana, and that is what her grandaughter calls her, so she can get over it. It was her choice. It will confuse both your kids if this nonsense of two names continues. She wanted to be Nana, so she's Nana.
It would be different if your DD had another dad and another set of grandparents, but since step dad IS "daddy" then his parents need to accept her as a their grandchild. Immediately.
My parents did a weird thing and played favorites with my kids (who both are from me and my DH) and we spoke to them one time about it and that was that. It was awkward, but we only had to discuss it one time. No playing favorites because in the end, it hurts all the kids and their relationship with each other.
but everything has pros and cons