08-16-2014, 08:46 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2012
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Stb step sibling teasing ds, tips to stop it
2 weeks into our co habitation and stb dsd 6 is taking out most if not all her aggression on my ds 8, She is not physically aggressive but is name calling and teasing alot and she also gets in his personal space touching, hanging on him etc and ds has begin to push her (off of him in self defense) Ds is huge for his age and dsd is tiny, they look like they are 4-5 years apart and not 23 months, I am afraid of this new aggressive behavior ds is exhibiting but he has never done anything to really hurt her physically and never does a nything unless provoked, all the same he has never been a violent child so it is upsetting to see this side of him. Ds has never been mean or violent to his sister who is 3, but did begin pushing her off of him vs letting her pester him at the same time we decided to move in with dp. Dp and I knew they had opposite personalities but it has escalated since we all moved and is causing a lot of issues in the family dynamics. Ds is super introverted and calm and quiet, dsd is extremely extroverted and overbearing. She is only treating ds this way and not the 2 younger children. Ds spends alot of time in his room which we put in a lock for him and I would like to find a way to get this issue addressed asap. Both children are socially awkward but on opposite ends of spectrum as ds is very shy and dsd is very overbearing. I have seen improvement siince the first week, but both dp and I really concerned.
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: BC, Canada
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Hmm, I'd try working on it from the boundaries angle. That sounds like it's the core of the issue... she sounds like she might just be a touchy-feely kind of person so she's going to have to learn to pick up on peoples cues anyway. Has she had the same issues at school, about not keeping her hands to herself? There might be some books and things about people having an invisible bubble around them.
If someone says stop, you have to stop right away or you get a time-out. I'd put a throw/towel on the couch and tell the kids that when someone is sittin on that throw it means they don't want to talk or play and you should leave them alone. Your son can sit on the throw and still be around everyone else but have the space he needs.
DSD probably needs to have a lot of interaction, too so you might need to find an outlet for her. Maybe things like getting her to do a puppet show for the younger kids, or singing songs. She can be the one you give tasks like tell everyone it's time to get their shoes on, or counting how many apples, eggs etc you have left when you're making a grocery list. Let her keep her motor mouth going, but not AT him.
It sounds like if there's been improvement already then it's going to work out, it's just time to get used to a new day to day life.
~Teresa, raising DS (Jan. 02) and DD1 (Jun. 04) and DD2 (Dec. 11) with DH.