Originally Posted by Flor
I feel like my dh should lecture at high schools-- it you let this guy get you pregnant-- he will be in your life forever so be careful!
I don't know why, but I have always been told (by several different attorneys I consulted) he will be made to pay half of college. Of course, he's supposed to have ds on his health insurance and he doesn't do that. That is why we have been really careful with saving. He would probably not fight it, because he doesn't ever want to look bad, but I'll never count on his money. He would much rather spend it on himself.
I just don't understand why he keeps bugging me to have a relationship with him, instead of putting effort towards a relationship with his son. An 11yo is capable of telling him anything he wants to know and I have been good about answering emails when he has a question, which is rare. I just think he wants me to like him and I think it makes him embarrassed that he doesn't have a friendship with me. It should make him embarrassed that he doesn't know his son's favorite color, favorite food, etc.
If he weren't so manipulative, I could do it, but he will tell you *anything* he thinks you want to hear, so any meaningful conversation is pointless.
I also have an issue based on what I have seen of his girlfriend's behavior (she has written my son- that is a whole other thread- grrrrr). I really think she sees biodad as a victim. That I am some evil woman trying to keep them apart, when I have given him clear written instructions on what I expect from him if he wants more contact (he is to call ds a minimum of once a month- which he has never done). He has a history of picking women who take care of him. She buys ds's birthday gifts and even signs his cards "dad"- I recognize it isn't his handwriting.
If you talk to biodad, he will spin you on how much he loves his son, and you'll never realize that he never calls, writes or comes to see him. That on the 1-2 week visits that ds spends with his paternal grandparents, *if* biodad comes, he spends half the time visiting his hometown friends without ds. Can you imagine? Can you imagine getting a whole week with your child that you never see and choosing to see others and leave him at home?