Join Date: May 2005
Location: southern CA/inland empire
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I need some advice.
(a little background) My SO and I have been a couple for over 2 years, a good portion of that time was long distance however. We've now lived together for 7 months. I have a 4yo, he has a 9yo. We each have respective custody, so the 4 of us live together.
Now, we all moved in together in October. Dss was in school, and has been (obviously), he has 2 weeks left until summer vacation. If I'm honest, I'm dreading this.
I love my dss, I do, with all my heart. But, he's 9, I'm 23, he's starting to get to that defiant age (with everyone, not just me), but on a whole, is a very good boy. This isn't part of the issue really, but wanted to give you an idea of where I'm coming from on this.
Anyway, during Christmas break he had 4 weeks off school, I was losing my mind! I have SUCH a hard time parenting this child 24/7. He's at that age where he's asserting the 'you're not my REAL parent, so nothing you say matters' attitude, and that's fine, he can have any attitude he wants, HOWEVER, it just stresses me out to no end!!!
During school though, he's in school until about 2:30, then goes to his grandmother's until my SO picks him up on his way home from work (about 5-5:30). I don't have to watch my dss alone at all, and it's actually quite peaceful. I am so much less stressed with this arrangement, and get so much more done in the day. (I have alot of problems with stress, I'm also bipolar and do have OCD, this is a HUGE mental thing for me, not 'just' stress...)
So, with summer break coming up, I have decided I want to talk to my SO about arranging it so that dss is not here during the day. I know this is gonna sound horrible to him, and that he will most likely get defensive, (I don't blame him)... However, this is something I feel like I need to do to keep it together, and keep my day and workload going smoothly.
What I need advice on, is how to talk to SO about this? How do I gently discuss this with him, and still get results? How do I not back down, when I know this is something I need?