I'm tired of being the babysitter!! - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 38 Old 07-16-2005, 03:00 AM
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This situation seems to happen a lot and it is so hard on everyone. Dh wants the kids around, gets custody/visitation then goes off to work leaving wife and kids together to bond!
This isn't my situation, but it was dh's situation when he was a child. He'd get shipped to his dad's from the first day of summer to the last and his dad worked the whole time leaving him with stepmom and stepsisters. It is no surprise that when he turned 18 in the middle of the summer, he went home to his mom that day. He has a lot of hard feelings towards his dad about those summers he was made to leave his friends and mom but felt like he never saw his dad once he got there.
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#32 of 38 Old 07-16-2005, 01:24 PM
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#33 of 38 Old 07-16-2005, 03:11 PM
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I can't write anything because I would get removed as a mod and kicked off permanently. I am sorry for the innocent children being treated like burdens. Mo9k- your posts make me cry for your stepkids. Yuck. Unsubscribing now.
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#34 of 38 Old 07-16-2005, 03:24 PM
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Really. At the very least, can you stop referring to your stepchildren as "skids"? Please?
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#35 of 38 Old 07-16-2005, 03:29 PM
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Poor babies. How awful to be seen as such a burden.

And how shocking to read this here on this board.

Does AP only apply to your own bio-kids? How very, very sad.

And how very sad that your love for your partner does not extend to his innocent children.

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#36 of 38 Old 07-16-2005, 05:07 PM
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This conversation has gotten pretty heated, so I hesitate to step in, but I really want to share my experience with this.

When DH and I got married, we both already had children, and we intended to parent each other's children just as if they were all our own bio-kids. It flat out didn't work. My dh clashed with my ds; I clashed with his. Make no mistake. We both love all the kids in our care. I would sooner chew off my own arm than see my ds hurt in any way, but our relationship just didn't ever have the warm closeness that my relationships with my bio-kids had.

As the only SAHP in the mix (SS's bio mom and DS and DD's bio dad are all re-married), I was the natural choice for care during all non-school hours. We got to the point where my frustration was starting to show, and I DID NOT want that. I did not want to hurt my SS in any way. When we enrolled him at the YMCA for after-school care and for summer day camp, our relationship improved in huge ways. I adore him now for the wonderful child that he is, and I take care of him plenty, but I no longer have to deal with a resentment because of being expected to be the full-time, on-call babysitter.

What I was going to suggest was applying for a scholarship at the YMCA. My older kids go now, too, because we got a half-price scholarship. They all love going because there just aren't any kids in our neighborhood who are home during the day. Legos are fun, but much more fun with a buddy!

Now I keep all three kids home from the Y once or twice a week because we enjoy being together. My stress level is WAY down now, and I'm a much better mom and step-mom because of it.


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#37 of 38 Old 07-16-2005, 08:04 PM
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I do not allow my children to go to their bio's when he is at work... he works 12 hour shifts, 8 to 8. His new wife has four other children and I am not willing to put my children through that. I catch quite the flak for that as well. My children are not HER RESPONSIBLITY. If he wants to see his kids, see them when he can spend time with them.
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#38 of 38 Old 08-05-2005, 02:40 PM
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It seems as though the only time we ever get to see my husband's son is when his mom wants to go on a date or has errands she wants to run without him.
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