"Nobody wants to be a stepmom" - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 4 Old 06-16-2005, 01:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
Flor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: California
Posts: 5,279
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Did you see this dr. phil? The woman had had an affair and got pregnant. She decided to keep the baby and raise it with her husband (he knew) and wanted the biofather to have no contact because she didn't want her baby to have a stepmom. Beside the fact that she really has no choice in this matter (it is his kid, too) she kept saying that she would rather have the baby not know its father than have a stepmom. She had friends that were stepmoms and it was just bad, she thought. I was irked. We don't necessarily prefer a lot of things, but we deal with them and make the best of it. I did want to be dss's stepmom, though. It was a packaged deal and I took it.
Flor is offline  
#2 of 4 Old 06-17-2005, 12:15 PM
 
djs_girl517's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,219
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sounds to me like her friends are crappy stepmoms. I'll admit, when I was a little girl imagining 'happily-ever-after', it didn't include stepkids. But I wouldn't have married their father if I weren't ready to do it. Somedays it is completely thankless and draining, but I imagine being a bio-mom is as well. I totally agree about the package-deal thing.

Unfortunately, I've known women who don't want to accept and love the kids, but marry the dad anyway. What? Do you think the kids will just go away cuz you're in his life now? Really sad for the kids.

ETA: For me, the most frustrating aspect of being a stepmom is that biomom intentionally makes life difficult because she hates me and doesn't want the kids to like me - much less love me.
djs_girl517 is offline  
#3 of 4 Old 06-17-2005, 01:02 PM
 
lynsage's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,244
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
that's silly. sounds to me like she was just looking for a rationalization for her desire to keep her child all to herself. just because her friends are bad stepmoms doesn't mean all stepmoms are bad! i'm sure she knows that deep down and is just using the "stepmom" angle as an excuse for her own over-possessiveness of her child.

i would LOVE to be a stepmom. i love having my own daughter, and if my life path leads me to a single mama who wants a stepmom for her kids, i'd love to have a blended family and help raise her kids right along with mine.

my mom was married to a guy who hated kids, so i never really accepted him as a stepdad, so i definitely know how much it can suck to have a step-parent who isn't into it. my first stepmom wasn't perfect by a long shot, but it was still better having her there during my adolescence than it would have been without her. my dad is remarried now and i love my stepmom, she's a friend of the family from way back.

i wish people would get over their crappy judgments about stepparents and blended families. i'm looking forward to being a stepmom someday!
lynsage is offline  
#4 of 4 Old 06-17-2005, 09:07 PM
Banned
 
Mamid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Fraser Valley
Posts: 1,841
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I love my stepmum. She's not the greatest in the world, but she's been there when I needed her which is what counts.

Whoever that woman was on Phil needs a dose of reality. Children deserve love no matter where its from - bio parent or other!
Mamid is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off