Letting your SO be - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 06-26-2005, 10:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
Mallory's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Wesley, AR
Posts: 2,567
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I completely trust my boyfriend would not discipline my children anyway I would not approve of, but I have a really hard time stepping back and letting them work things out.

I also have a hard time listening to him complain about my children, when that is one of the things I really want from him. He usually does a great job of listening to me complain when the kids drive me crazy (without telling me I need to crack down on them or blister thier butts like so many people do if you complain about your children). But when he complains about something I take it so personally like he is attacking my parenting. Not just frustrated with taking care of 4 and 5 yo boys.

So how do you let them figure out their own relationships? Any tips or ideas?
Mallory is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 06-27-2005, 02:53 AM
 
MomBirthmomStepmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: southern CA/inland empire
Posts: 1,860
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mallory
I also have a hard time listening to him complain about my children, when that is one of the things I really want from him. He usually does a great job of listening to me complain when the kids drive me crazy (without telling me I need to crack down on them or blister thier butts like so many people do if you complain about your children). But when he complains about something I take it so personally like he is attacking my parenting. Not just frustrated with taking care of 4 and 5 yo boys.

This is my SO completely. He takes everything I say about his son to heart, and honestly, I really believe that hinders our relationship.... I can't talk to him AT ALL about his son or our parenting together, cause he takes everything as me saying 'i don't like your kid', which is ridiculous IMO.... So, my MAIN piece of advice is to try to relax and understand that you complain about your kids, and if you expect your SO to be a parental figure, he needs to complain now and then too....

Otherwise, I'm not sure what to tell you. I also have a hard time relaxing while my SO disciplines my daughter, but it hasn't been that bad to just sit back and let them build their own relationship.... For me, the hard relationship ius between me and SO's son....

Good luck!
MomBirthmomStepmom is offline  
Old 06-27-2005, 10:31 PM
 
Kindermama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: she's only happy in the Son
Posts: 2,604
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MomBirthmomStepmom
This is my SO completely. He takes everything I say about his son to heart, and honestly, I really believe that hinders our relationship.... I can't talk to him AT ALL about his son or our parenting together, cause he takes everything as me saying 'i don't like your kid', which is ridiculous IMO.... So, my MAIN piece of advice is to try to relax and understand that you complain about your kids, and if you expect your SO to be a parental figure, he needs to complain now and then too....

Otherwise, I'm not sure what to tell you. I also have a hard time relaxing while my SO disciplines my daughter, but it hasn't been that bad to just sit back and let them build their own relationship.... For me, the hard relationship ius between me and SO's son....

Good luck!
: literally word for word

nak

Consciously mothering 3 girls and 2 boys
Kindermama is offline  
Old 06-30-2005, 11:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
Mallory's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Wesley, AR
Posts: 2,567
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I agree with you. It is one of the only problems in our relationship (and so many of the other irritations are related to this one thing- wanting to feel like we are more in this together, that they are OUR responsibility not mine, that I need to be responsible for all of our relationships, ect.)

I still am having a hard time stepping back.
Mallory is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off