I have a great stepson! He is so unique and special, I just love him to death. He just turned 13 (!) and I have been with his father since just before his 4th birthday. We have been to hell and back with his mother, she moved him out of state for a couple of years
she came back and he has actually been living with us for the past year+, seeing her alternate weekends. He refers to me as his stepmom to other people most of the time, but I have heard him call me his mom on occassion. I think it's a slip of the tongue, but he doesn't ever make an effort to correct it.
He has special needs (serious, rare metabloic disorder) and most of my frustrations with his center around this issue, not our relationship. He has a very restricted diet and have to take meds and nutritional supplements twice daily and he goes through flare ups of not wanting to do it and he MUST do it or he will die. So there isn't much room for "self regulation" and such, which I know most parents at MDC strive for, but its just not something we can risk. Also, he is in special ed and has some learning difficulties, along with the uncanny need to ask A LOT of questions over and over (and over....
) so my patience can wear thin sometimes, but I try really hard to be patient with him and assure him about what we are doing each day and I try to answer his questions as patiently as I can.
Overall, we respect each other in our roles and I feel good about our interactions most of the time.