(even if I don't agree :LOL )
My son's other mother (yes, he's my son although I didn't give birth to him.) is very inconsistent in visiting or contacting him. He's 3 years 5 months old and she moved 5 hours away from him just before he turned two and handed the mothering reins to me. Yes, she actually asked me to take care of him. She moved on with her life in another state, met a man, got pregnant, got married and is due in a few months. She has spent time with C all of about 5 times since her move...mostly just for a weekend but once for a week. Several times she never showed up for planned visits. Twice, my DH called her the night before and she had to rush to make plans since she forgot she was going to be visiting him. She has not seen him since March (weekend visit)....she called today and wants C to go down to her state for 10 days...some of which will involve more traveling to another state to get to her baby shower. My beef is obviously she is using him to show off to her new in-laws. Typical of past behavior (such as asking DH for her son's SSN to get a bigger base home thru the military/her new DH's job
. So, my beef aside....she hardly ever calls (maybe every 6 weeks), never sends anything (clothes, money, cards, pictures) and she seems only interested in C when she needs to use him.
We are getting mixed messages from 3 different therapist over this time. One will say no biggie, he should be allowed to see her whenever. One says get her "rights" taken away and yet another will say minimize his visits with her.
I say...if she was more consistent and showed constant interest, then I'd be alot less protective of C from his own mother. My DH can never make up his mind and so relies on everyone else to make the decision (like me in this instance
). You know what, I dont know what I'm really asking here...how about what's been your experience? will C suffer from this in the long run or in the long run is it ok for him to have this kind of relationship with his mother. what would happen if this was in your family.