Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: In a state of happiness
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My 12 y/o (future) SS is learning disabled (borderline mentally retarded). His 16 y/o sister is constantly nagging him. CONSTANTLY.
"Don't eat like that. Eat your foods in this order."
"Play the video game like this."
"Change your clothes. Wear this."
"Don't stand in the hallway. Go stand over there."
"Roll your window down three inches."
"Don't cough like that."
"Don't hum to yourself like that."
"Stop twirling your hair like that."
"Don't breathe so loudly."
"Go use the bathroom."
I understand the 12 y/o had a lot of medical problems in his short life (he was born with some deformities and spent the first couple years of his life in the hospital having many, many surgeries). Now, he's a pretty normal looking 12 y/o, who has the potential for acting normally... it's just his sister has turned him into a wimp. He never stands up for himself. He's constantly apologizing, and she's constantly criticizing him. She loves him dearly. Her actions have been pointed out to her repeatedly. She just has a VERY controlling personality type, and refuses to stop nagging her brother. It's getting so annoying, and I find myself jumping down her throat every time she says anything to him, because it's ALWAYS some criticism.
They only spend every other weekend with us (plus random times between that). The rest of the time they're at their mother's house, and the 16 y/o takes on the role of the mother, as she has since the divorce many years ago.
We want the 12 y/o to be independant, and learn to stand up for himself, especially with his disability. But, she's doing a disservice to him, and we can't figure out how to point this out to her, and change her behavior.