Finances...slight vent - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 10-11-2005, 05:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DH's ex wife is...well to put it nicely a money grubber (she found her new husband online based off of income....seriously....). Due to her past and recent reactions to money situations I DO NOT feel comfortable with DH talking about our money situation with her. He has no problem letting her know everything about it....just now he was discussing our lack of and how we have to fix our car. Anytime he does this she catalouges it and uses it against him later on. He ends up feeling like a bad dad etc. He doesn't get that I do not want him doing this. Do you discuss your money situation with the ex?

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#2 of 8 Old 10-11-2005, 06:38 PM
 
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No, not other than annual salary (both of them disclose) for cs purposes. They don't talk about much of anything other than their son. And I have to say, I like it that way. But really, my DH is very private, esp about money, so there is no way he would discuss that with her, even if they did talk about other stuff.
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#3 of 8 Old 10-11-2005, 06:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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That's what I think should happen here! Instead he has no problem saying, "Oh we have about 20 bucks for this or that and we managed to get rent in on time." : It's infuriating!!! He talks about money and she talks about her marital issues. I don't want to tell him to not talk to her cause frankly this is a good thing but some things don't need shared!

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#4 of 8 Old 10-11-2005, 06:54 PM
 
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Oh my. Yeah, I am personally more comfotable with a clear boundary about personal information. If it really bothers you, I hope your DH can accomodate your concerns.
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#5 of 8 Old 10-11-2005, 08:50 PM
 
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We don't discuss our money at all with SO's ex, but she talks about her money issues with us. (including the fact that her bf's checks are garnished for his older childre etc, it makes me wonder if he feels like you do, like WHY is she telling US this??? )

The only reason that we could imagine her telling us this stuff is because she never gives us the full court-ordered child support, and it's usually less and less, and it seems like she's trying to justify it by talking about her money problems.

Personally, I don't wanna hear about her money issues at all. Good or bad, nor do I want her (or anyone for that matter) hearing about ours...
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#6 of 8 Old 10-12-2005, 06:52 AM
 
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Last time we drove the boys to their daddy's house, they'd left legal documents and court summons (credit related) lying around, as well as a LOT of red bills- and that made me feel incredibly manipulated, tbh- like he was trying to justify the total lack of child support, etc. Some people talk about money, some people don't, and it's very hard for either side to understand the other pov.

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#7 of 8 Old 10-12-2005, 11:34 AM
 
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My DH used to share that kind of stuff with his ex, just kinda filling her in or something. I told him a hundred times that our finances are none of her business. Now, he only tells her if it involves child support. She keeps asking, though. Like, we bought a Durango in August, and the first time she saw it, she kept pestering him, what'd you pay for that? how much, blah, blah, blah. He kept asking her why she needed to know. When she asked what was the monthly payment; he asked, "why, are you going to pay it for me?" She said no, and he said "then why do you need to know what the payment is?" That finally shut her up.
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#8 of 8 Old 10-12-2005, 11:36 AM
 
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LOL well we are always on time for bills.
I know there are a couple of things we need to pay
as far as "tickets." But, other than that we always either pay or overpay our bills. Infact, my bf told my daughter's "real mom" that we are always ontop of the bills and we pay them before we even get the bill. She thought that was weird. She was upset that they were so behind on all of their bills and what not. I felt like "proud" because I know we are so responsible as far as money goes. Sure we get short, everyone does. But we always make due, and our bills are always up to date.
I have no problem with it, because there is nothing to talk about. We always have money, we always are on time with bills, and we never have an issue with it. So, he can talk away as far as I am concerned we manage money fine.

We even give her child support early, so that she has nothing to say about it. I know that she likes to dig here and there, to get us to pay for certain things for our daughter. I don't mind, but atleast be grateful.

This past week, we were dropping our daughter off. And she asked my bf to pick up her step-son, and our daughter next Thurs because she is having another child. Well she said our daughter, do you still sit in your carseat? She said no because her sister sits in it." Well she turned around and said," Kate really needs to get a carseat for her daughter because that is hers." I felt kinda pissed, because I am so good to her. But, oh well, I let it roll. I told my bf fine, I will pick up a carseat next week. Nothing to bitch about. He told me not to worry about it. But still, I figure you know, I make sure all the children's needs are met as far as money goes. I didn't think it was a problem our middlest using the carseat but it was. Go figure!
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