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#1 of 10 Old 11-08-2005, 10:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I also am a stepmother. Sometimes you feel alone in what you go through until you read others posts and you just have to laugh because you realize there are others that go through the same thing and that do understand.
My husband and I have 2 beautiful children together and he was 2 children from his previous marriage. They have lived with my husband from the beginning of their divorce. My stepdaughter, who is more like a daughter to me...are very close. My stepson however (age 12 now) has always had some type of problems and I kept mentioning things to my husband that he needed to see a therapist. He would hear things breathing, see monsters peering at him, up all hours of the night screaming etc... even with the light on. This seemed to only happen at night. Although during the day, he was a terror. Always starting fights with the other 3 children and very reclusive. Long story short...while at his mothers one weekend, she walked in on him molesting her other son (age 6) It apparently had been going on for a year and he too had tried to molest my son. Scared to death of what eles he might try...I took our children out of the home until things had calmed down. I had my stepdaughter over every day I could. My stepson had also drawn pictures of family members dead etc.. He scared me. Our daughter is 3 and son 6 at the time. Of course I as a stepmom, got yelled at by my husbands side for leaving my stepson and how terrible I was for it. Funny thing, everyone eles understood why I had to protect my children. As did my husband. It was hard on us. All this said...my s.s. was in a boarding school for 2 years and in Aug it will be up. What to do then. I am very scared and unsure what to do. Since he's been gone, our son has stopped peeing in his bed (which is a concern to me of was he scared of my s.s?) also during this time because he went into therapy, social services were called. And since my S.s. lived with us...it was a concern that with 2 young children in the home with him molesting....we were afraid they would take them out of the home. Another reason I felt I had to leave. What would you do?
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#2 of 10 Old 11-08-2005, 07:28 PM
 
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Exactly what you did.

Big hug. Get him the help he needs, protect the other kids and yourself.
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#3 of 10 Old 11-08-2005, 07:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks boobybunny. Sometimes you just wonder what to do ya know. You try to keep your family together, do the right thing. I want to do right by my S.S. too but at the same time...it scares me to death the thought of him being here with all the children.
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#4 of 10 Old 11-08-2005, 07:46 PM
 
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I think I would have done the same thing whether it be my son or stepson.
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#5 of 10 Old 11-08-2005, 08:19 PM
 
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I would have done the same with no regrets. I hope you get support regarding all of this, I can't imagine how rough it must be.
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#6 of 10 Old 11-09-2005, 10:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone. Sorry for just jumping in like this. It's just been weighing on my mind.
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#7 of 10 Old 11-09-2005, 02:34 PM
 
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I would have gone the exact same thing.
There is no excuse whether its an adult or a child.
You just simply don't violate another human being!
I know recently I have been on the outside looking in with my
oldest daughter (step/I dont call her step though). Her mom
said to my bf that she was peeing her dirty clothes that are on the
floor (and to watch her because we may find that in our home). Likely not!
Her real mom just has had a new baby. So she feels VERY neglected. I stay
netural with her mom. She had asked me to do her hair, for a family photoshoot that they were doing when we had her for the weekend. SO I did it, not for her but for my daughter. I guess I get angry, because there are times, I would love to just step RIGHT IN and really nail the hammer on the head but I can't. That would only cause more problems for my oldest. I would do anything for her, if I felt like she was in danger of any kind I would protect her with my own life. That is what you are doing. Protecting your children which a Mom is called to do in the line of duty. Think about what could have happened if you didn't do what you did? Good luck hun! hugs to you!
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#8 of 10 Old 11-09-2005, 06:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You all have been so sweet, kind and supportive. Thank you
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#9 of 10 Old 11-09-2005, 09:09 PM
 
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I have to agree with the other mama's. Turning a blind eye would help no one and you haven't turned your back on him. You have to protect him from himself as well as the other children. It sounds like he needs some help to deal with whatever issues he has going on with him. It takes courage to be your right now but you will make it through.
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#10 of 10 Old 11-10-2005, 09:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Luna...good advice. August is coming up fast and I'm worried about what will happen. He can still stay in the school but it's just whether or not hubby will let him. He says maybe S.S. has changed etc... but I worry about if he hasn't. I have 3 other children here to make sure are going to be safe as well. I have read up alot on molesting and I hear, it doesn't stop. Maybe he is the one case that will...I just don't know. But combine that with the other things he does. Ya got a momma that's worried.
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