babies and Stepkids - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 11-09-2005, 04:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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#2 of 2 Old 11-09-2005, 08:30 PM
 
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Remember the old ways?
Where the Dad would work and the Mom would
techically stay home and look after the children?
Far away from that belief as possible, I believe that
parenting SHOULD be both a combined responsbility.
Fathers need to be just as involved as Mothers. No matter
if they are half/step/biological/adopted. No excuses. I know
that in my relationship, my bf and I we are 110% together on raising
our children. Mine are his, and his are mine. I discipline, I nuture, I parent, I love just the same with all of them. No difference. However, my oldest's real mom is very different. Her fiance, does NOT discipline our daughter at all. She is the only one that disciplines her, just as much as he is not there for her. Emotionally, mentally, phyiscally. Which is fine because her dad is awesome, he is for her. Last week on Sat. She came in after the familyshoot and said," Kate?" I said yes? She said," You're the best." Simply just because she needs time? Just needs to be validated? Reassured that her place is always reserved for her here? That she will never be neglected or ignored? That she is treated like a exisisting human being? She calls me Mommy more often than not. I like to think it's because she knows I would do anything for her. I love her, I care about her, I am interested in what is happening to her. I feel that part of the problem is that her real mom expects her to be so grown up, and when she is with us she just expected to be nothing more than a kid. We as a team, as a couple, and as parents make our home a safe, healthy, and secure place. Emotionally, and on all levels because we are in agreement. We support one another. I think its harder to parent when you feel like you are doing a solo job. I mean when I got involved with my future husband, I expected to part of the "team player" in raising his daughter as well as him in raising my own. Like any active supportive involved father would. Just my opinion.
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