I've talked about this before, but just wanna talk again.
SO and I are the custodial parents of dss (9 years old). Biomom wasn't a huge part of his life until this past year and a half. THis past summer we all made arrangements for a set schedule for dss to be with biomom (every tuesday until 8pm, every other thursday until 8pm and every other weekend, friday-sunday at 7pm).
Well, maybe 2 months ago biomom gets a job and starts TELLING us 'sorry can't have him this day/time' etc, and bring him home. It was frustrating to begin with, but we tried dealing, and knew we couldn't change how biomom was.
SO and I both work, and can't afford daycare either (we understand that biomom can't), so we work our schedules for work so that we can watch the children while the other works. If one of us has to do an extra day/time, the other will take off of work to accomodate.
Biomom has a live-in boyfriend, they have a baby together. She's done the schedule thing to fit around her bf's schedule so he can watch their baby, but he won't watch dss. So, biomom just drops him off here telling us 'i'll bring him by this time and pick him up this time', not asking if we had plans or anything, just TELLING us.
Honestly, I'm fed up.
When we have dss (more than 2/3's of each month), WE take care of childcare. Either myself or SO, or SO's mother. We cannot afford sitters, and don't have friends to watch the children etc. (same situation as biomom, can't afford sitters, no friends, but has her bf and mother). But biomom just drops him off here, instead of asking her mother or boyfriend.
How come we can work around our work schedules, and have our family watch the kids when we're working, but she can't?
How can we remedy this?
This past weekend, SO had to work on Sat, so I took off that day, to watch BOTH children. But this Sat, biomom has to work and is bringing dss here for us to watch, while her bf stays home with their baby.
Going by what she does, I suppose I should've called and TOLD her we would drop dss off and pick him up when SO was done work. (since DD is the child we have together etc)
I wouldn't do that, and don't feel that way one bit, but I sometimes wonder how biomom would feel if we did to her what she does to us...
SO loosely agrees, although he wishes dss didn't have to see biomom period, and he'd rather him be with us 24/7 and with her never. I know dss needs time with his mom, and hate that I have to fight with her to get it for him