A lot of the other posts to this thread seem to indicate (please correct me if I'm wrong) that the poster is hurt/offended when their step-children say that phrase to them. I have two thoughts on the subject:
First, we need to remember that the statement is, in fact, true, whether or not we wish to be reminded of it.
Secondly, I think it's important for us to be adult enough to not be hurt by the words that are being said, and be compassionate enough to understand that the child is really saying something more along the lines of "I miss my mother.", "I need to be 'mothered' right now.", or "Please don't try to take my mother's place, or usurp my mother."
Just food for thought.
When I was a step mom, I always replied.... "nope, I am the WOMAN WHO CHOOSES to love you"
or I would then say to them " hey cinderella, get your booty in the car" they were older kids, about 13 and 14 when we were no longer family.
I miss the girls, I have not seen, heard or talked to them in about 3 years. They were actually my ex's former step daughters and I worked very hard at him keeping a relationship with them going. When we split up, he stopped seeing the girls.
Just to add to this... the girls are back in my life... thankyou myspace!!!! and they tell me I am STILL their "other mother" and I am about to be the "other grand ma":
He has occassionally experessed that he would like me to go live at his mom's house and would like him mom, dad to live at our house he fluctuates on whether his brother gets to come with me or stays with them. I always try to encourage him to talk about these sorts of feelings, him living with his mom and his dad and visiting me at his mom's house, me putting his brother back in my tummy or mailing him away whatever.
Mom-type to DSS 10/12/03, Mom to DS 10/05/06 and DD 11/03/08.
So it sounds like your dsd is just clarifying. and well she should. but since it hurts your feelings (understandably) perhaps if she is old enough you could interject something along the lines of "hey why don't you tell them who I *am* then so they don't think i am kidnappin' ya " if she is not inclined to introduce you then maybe it would help her if you set the record straight. I am Suzie and am lucky enough to be her step mom"
just don't assume her clarification has anything to do with you personally. She very well may want to make sure you get the honor you are due. you are no ordinary mom after all. you are step mom and that is different and cool in its own way. My friends DSD was talking with a neighbor kid and neighbor kid introduced her step mom and friends kid got super excited because hey! she had a step mom too!! and couldn't wait to tell her new friend all about her mom and her step mom and her dad and her sister and her dog and . . . . .
The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it. We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.
We talk a lot about how we're all going to feel a lot of emotions: sadness, frustration, disappointment, confusion, anger... but there needs to be an appropriate way to express those feelings.
At first I said nothing, but last time she said it, I responded with, "Aw, that's so sweet, Thank You!" To which I got and a sigh. This child is 8 going on 16, I swear.
I can already hear my stepdad's voice in my head... "don't you roll your eyes at me, young lady"