x-posted to single parenting
For those of you co-raising children with an inconsistent and emotionally or physically-unavailable ex, how do you raise your children to be resilient to the psychological scars?
I have two boys, ages 6 & 3, who are feeling the pain of dealing with an inconsistent biodad. He disappears for months, reappears for awhile (usually with a new gf), makes promises he doesn't keep, is late or a no-show for visits, doesn't pay child support, etc. I can see that they are having a hard time with this.
He has recently reappeared and wants to "get involved for real this time." I want to be able to prepare them for the fact that he will probably flake out again. I don't want them to hate or resent him.
But how do I help them just accept him for who he is and what he can give?
If you can share any resources, I'd appreciate it. A book or an article. Or maybe I should send them to a therapist? TIA.
Mom to : DS1 (11), DS2 (8), DD3 (4), : DS4 (1), and : : :