Okay, I'll try to make this as brief as I can. This is extremely painful to retell, but I guess I'm hoping someone here might have some helpful advice. I have a 6yo who I share joint custody of with her father. Unfortunately he is the resident custodian. Now before anyone asks why she is primarily w/me, I'll just let you know I never lost custody of her or did anything that would reflect on me as being a bad or unfit parent, this is simply the result of our custody case that was part of our divorce. He remained in the marital home and made more money and basically it didn't have much more to do with anything else.
SO....fast forward to present. I took him to court Dec. 6, 2004, to modify custody based on several police reports I obtained outlining domestic and other physical violence at his home which my child observed. Also he was convicted of a misdomeaner theft, and the bank filed for foreclosure on his home, and he had had several different women who moved in and out and was currently living with a girlfriend and her 3 kids. There was no adverse information presented at all about me at this hearing. To the contrary only evidence establishing my stability and the good relationship between myself, my child, and her other siblings and her stepfather was presented. The Judge took 7 months to deliberate this and finally ruled against me in July of this year denying my request for modification of custody.
Okay, now here is the cake topper. Just last week I found out the state was charging ex with 1st degree criminal abuse of a child. Turns out to be one of his girlfriends kids. Then I found out this happend in Feb. of this year. So I didn't know about it until better than 10 mo. had passed. Now you won't believe what happens next. I find out that when this ensued, my child was removed from his care and the state took custody of her. He did not receive custody back until 2 mo ago. All the time this was going on I was speaking with him regularly and seeing my child regularly. I am her girl scout troop leader and I see her frequently. I also have first right of refusal. So our court papers state that if he is unable to care for her for any reason whatsoever I am to be contacted. How then, is it, that social services did all this without consulting me? She was placed with my ex's sister, and then with his other sister. During the first placement I don't think he was allowed contact and during the second placement he was allowed contact so long as he had 24 hour supervision. My ex moves around alot and that is one of the chief reasons I took him for modification of custody. I did question him several times when I had to drop my dd off at her aunt's and he wasn't there, because I have first right of refusal. He assured me he was only working a few minutes late and would be directly home. Since I live 30 min away he said to go ahead and drop her off so she could get ready for bed.
Believe me, I am one angry momma
How could something like this be allowed to happen. I have only obtained a few court documents from the clerk and my name was put on the petitions because I am her mother, but no one ever contacted me. The social worker says it was the clerks responsibility and the clerk says they were never provided with anything other than my name, and they must have an address. The county atty's offices haven't called me back yet, and I have started the complaint process with Cabinet for Families and Children.
Can you believe this happend????????????? What can I do! I currently have the Judges denial of my request for modification on appeal, but I filed my appeal without ever knowing about this. This happened in a county other than the one our case was filed in, but my ex got it transferred to that same Judge and she dropped the charges on him, however, the state is still pursuing the charge and he is set for trial Feb. 22.