Long story short: My ex-h, who is the father of my 3 children, pays less than $2 a week per child in child support. He has them to his place every other weekend, and then he has somebody else watch them, while he goes out to the bars, drinks, and "plays gigs". My children beg me not to send them to their father's place. They would much rather spend time with me. He doesn't have a working fridge, so there's never any fresh, healthy foods.
Yesterday, I had to go to the hospital to get some testing done (24 hr EEG). Ex said he would watch the kids for me, so I could get the testing done. When the time came, however, he was MIA. His new girlfriend answered his cellphone, and claimed he wasn't there. Because I had to go back to the hospital today, I went to look for my ex again. He wasn't home. I went to his new girlfriend's house, and the door was open, but nobody answered the door. He was hiding from his own kids!!!
I called the cell phone, and he answered the phone finally, and said he wasn't going to watch the kids so I could go to the hospital. I'm so mad that he said he was going to do it, and then backed out at the last second, without calling to tell me... ON PURPOSE!!! My fiance had to take 2 afternoons off work to take me to the hospital and watch my kids... totally not his responsibility, but much appreciated! I was telling my ex on the phone that some things have got to change... he's going to have to support the kids more financially and emotionally. He promised the kids he was going to buy them new boots, gloves, hats, and coats this past weekend. Instead, he took his new girlfriend out to a fancy restaurant. He talks like he's dad of the year to this "woman", meanwhile he's acting like a deadbeat dad to the kids!!! Now that I can tolerate; She'll find out soon enough what a jerk he is... he's using her, and has admitted as much... but this woman had the nerve to grab the phone from my ex, and started YELLING AT ME!!! She was going on about how he's a wonderful dad, and is always talking about how he misses the kids so much, and claiming I don't let him see the kids! The complete opposite is true! I'm trying to encourage him to spend more time with the kids, and be a better dad. The kids want to spend time with their dad... not just have sleepovers at his cramped apartment with a babysitter!
That woman is so tacky and clueless! It's a sad situation, that is hurting the kids. I'm going to keep my mouth shut, and not tell her the real story. Like I said, she'll find out soon enough.
I just had to vent.
I can't force the man to be a father. I give up. I'm going to respect my childrens' wishes not to go to their father's apartment. He won't force them anyways. And, as soon as I get off public assistance, I'm going to take him back to court to get more than the less than two dollars a week per child he pays now.
I feel sorry for this girl he's dating now, who thinks he's a wonderful daddy. She has 2 babies of her own, and their dads aren't around. She's clinging to a man she thinks will be there for her, and she can't see he's using her. He's eating all her food, and "borrowing" her van all the time, and using her for a piece of... well, you know. I just hope and pray she doesn't get knocked up by him. I'd rather my kids not have half siblings. It's so messed up when there's animosity created by the new SO, when there would be potential for them to have children who are related to the other children. I don't want my kids to have "part time sibs"... blood relatives... siblings, who are supposed to be close... who never see each other, especially when they're so young. They don't understand.
Again, thanks for letting me vent.