I'm at my wits end with these kids.
They are using the conflict between their parents to their advantage and getting away with it. If they don't like what they are told to do here, they go tell their mom elaborate stories about how they are suffering over here in hopes that she will cause so much problems that we alter our situation here.
For example: We are still involved in a custody dispute and going to mediation next week. My husband (and his ex) are both afraid to properly discipline the children because they are afraid of what the children might say to the mediator.
The teachers told us that they wanted my stepson to go to study hall because he was falling behind. He was also purposely keeping stuff off his agenda because he didn't want to do it at home. We told him to go to study hall and get his agenda signed so that we know everything was written down. He went to his mother and said I made him do this because I hated him and I wanted to punish and embarass him. His mother threw a fit. He went as far as to bring the vice-principal into the mix, which was a mistake on his part. She was a stepmother and knew exactly what he was doing. She backed us up and he had to do it. His mother was furious.
My stepdaughter is telling us that she is afraid to tell her mom that she wants to do a certain activity at my house because her mom doesn't want her doing anything with us. She says her mom & stepdad get real mean. She then tells her mom that she only does this activity at my house because she's afraid to tell me no because I get real mean. When we confront her on what she tells her mom, she denies it and says she never told her mom that. I'm sure she tells her mom the same thing.
We could get these kids in the same room with the parents & stepparents and let it all out, but two things can happen. The kids can stick to what they've told us, then their mom will say they are only saying it because they are afraid of us. They can stick to what they told her, then we'll say it's because they're afraid of her. They could admit to what they've been doing to us, but I know that will never happen. They won't admit to anything, even if it's right in front of them. They'll just tell another lie.
I'm sooooo fed up. I sure wish the mediator can see through all this and see that these kids are working the system and mom is falling for it.
Something else is that it's becomming increasingly hard for me to be affectionate to these kids because of all the aweful things they've said to me. I find myself staying in my bedroom or leaving my home when they are here. Tongiht I was walking down the hallway and my stepdaughter hugged me. I felt wierd.
I hear so many people say that they are just 10 & 12 and I shouldn't blame them too much, but they are old enough to know what they are doing. I know they are not mature enough to appreciate the long term consequences, but they reap the short term.
This is a no win situation and I just have to wait it out, I guess.