We are actually on the other side of this battle. My DH has been paying significantly more than we can afford so that he can pay off his arrearages. When support was set during the divorce, he was making about $15k a year more than he is now, but never went back to have it readjusted because, as he said, he was in arrearages anyway, and his ex needed the money he hadn't been able to pay.
DH spoke to his ex several weeks ago about having support readjusted since his income has decreased, his arrearages are payed off, and one of the two children are now in public school, so daycare costs have been cut in half. His ex informed him that if he tried to take "her" money away, she'd make it hell for him to see his daughters. So we're stuck. We can't afford to do fun things with them, like go to the waterpark, or on vacations, because we're paying so much in support, but if we try and get it reduced, she is threatening to take the kids away. Bear in mind that during the divorce, he granted her the tax refunds on *both* kids, as well as the high child support payments. We in no way feel that we *shouldn't* be paying support, as we love the children dearly, and are responsible for their well-being, but it's hard to hear her ask for more money when we can barely make ends meet.
Luckily (I know, it sounds horrible!
) when our little one arrives in June, support will automatically be readjusted, and the ex can not contest it.
We get along with her on most every other issue, and she has even called and asked me for advice on things for the kids. Unfortunately though, she sees support as her "right" and feels that she "earned it" by "putting up with" my DH for 3 years.