My dh has a wonderful 18yo dd from his previous marriage. His ex left him when his dd was 8 to marry another man and the three of them maintained a good, healthy relationship and were all active in his dd's life for years. When she was 12 dh and I moved in together and his ex got ticked and told him that she thought that he was behaving 'innapropriately' with his dd and that he couldn't see her anymore. This was the week after going to the state for child support even though he regularly paid it to her, and on top of that he'd give extra money for additional expenses (like taking dd out school shopping, pitching in for braces...).
For 4 years we only saw his dd 1 or 2 times a year at crowded family gatherings and if we pursued anything more than pleasant (and short) small talk they'd take her and leave. The past couple of years we've seen her more often, about every couple of months. I've wanted for a long time to have a better relationship with her.
This fall she's going to college and she chose a school that's close to us, and made it sound like that was a deciding factor for her! She wants to spend time with us and wants us to come up to her dorm to visit...I just can't wait. I was planning to just wait until fall to pursue a relationship with her, but that's a whole 6 months to wait and I don't want to!
Her mom is still really (something that rhymes with 'witchy') to us. She doesn't always tell her that we've called and stuff like that. Should I try to form a better relationship with her now even though she's still living with her mom over 2 hours away? Or should I just try and tough it out until fall? What do you all think?