My ds is almost 12. He lives with his dad. But he has been there for 7 years. The story is long, but here is a short version. he was hard to handle. I had undiagnosied bi polaor. He got a brain infection from the chicken poxs they told me he was going to die and he didn't, I had a breakdown and ds and dd went to live else where untill I could cope. but ds stayed with his dad (diffrent dads)
as for keeping her feeling welcome. I email ds too. I tell him small everyday stuff, new words cory is saying (#2ds) about dd school spelling tests.
He is getting to be at the age where He is calling me to make vistation arangments. but he is a boy, I think that has a little to do with it.
Just keep the comunication open. I have a saying, "I am the fun dad" as in the weekend parent. I also don't disapline ds, much. I feel those days are over for us and we are making conections in ohter ways, I am not telling you to do thid but it works for us.
I rember how I felt after he went to live with his dad. I actually lost friends over it. I felt tremendous guilt. I don't now. ds's dad and his step mom are GREAT. they do not have children of there own so he is spolied, they have money and he has lots of advatages that I couldn't give him, one on one ect...
it took me years to work out that He is doing better there, he is thriving. his stuttering has stopped. He is so loved and so wanted. I only feel proud now. proud that I was strong enough to leave him there. Even thou sometimes I could barley stand it. i know he is happy.
When I gave birth to him, I swore that I would make sure he was happy, secure, and healthy. I fullfiled my promise
I 'll be keeping you and dd in my thoughts.
i don't know if any of this was helful, But i waned to post to let you know I know