Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Gulf coast of Florida
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I agree with the pp's, a DAD is the person who is there for you, disneyland dad's are just facades. If your DH wants to be the dad, he will, and your son at 16 MONTHS doesn't have a sophisticated enough understanding of relationships to be saying anything in how he acts! He's just responding to a very strange experience of being handed to a stranger who acts differently than his parents for a few days. And your son may have some gender reactions to your DH, but that doesn't mean he's not caring for or needing your dh still. If your son had stayed with someone else, like maybe your sister, he might have come back with a strange reaction to you...
I'd urge your dh to be reasonable and mature here...and if he can't get over it, then that's not a good sign. When a young child goes away for a few days, it's going to be hard on them when they get back...for my two it takes almost as much time to get back to normal as the visit itself, so two days adjustign for a two day visit, a week for a week, etc. And I'm sure this will just happen more often as your child gets over, assuming his biodad stays in the picture, but what if your dh steps back, biodad is involved for a whopping additional year, then on to other things? Your child could have a real problem then, and no amount of your dh handing responsibility off to a biodad will help him.