What kind of sick, emotionally abusive, manipulative puppy says that to their own child??? Please, honestly, tell me if I'm over-reacting.
Alex is 7. He's bright, active, intelligent, inquisitive: atm he's very hard work and is taking a lot of parenting, I'll agree. If you set a boundary, he'll push at it to see what happens. He's struggling in school (probably boredom, possibly dyspraxia)- whilst he's absorbing all the information given, it isn't going down on paper and so he brought home a moderately bad report last term, first one ever.
His father is getting married in 6 weeks time, and his partner is pregnant, due early November. Since January we've had a maintenance/ visitation schedule in place: his dad voluntarily pays me approximately half of what the CSA will take off him, once they catch up and start taking money off him, and we drive him half-way up to his dads (they live 300 miles away.) Every time they've come back, I've had complaints about his behaviour- that he doesn't listen, that he does silly stuff, that he's constantly in trouble: his dad tries to give examples of just how heinous his behaviour is but it comes out sounding pathetic and feeble. For instance, during February's visit he got put into time out for riding a scooter on the grass. This time, his dad and his stepmum-to-be left the three children (her daughter, his boys) alone in the living room with instructions to colour in their colouring-in books. Alex got bored, stood up and started trying to do pirouettes on the spot, so her daughter went and told a grown-up, who came down and shouted at him for not thinking, that something could get broken- etc, etc, etc. I've had the same story from two boys and their dad, and I still feel like I'm missing something.
Oh, btw, he also believes Alex has Asperger's Syndrome. His class teacher (who is the schools special needs co-ordinator) can't see anything to suggest it and he doesn't have many traits of AS. I thought I'd mention it: he seems obsessed by the idea that there is something "wrong" with Alex.
The wedding is in 6 weeks time and they won't see their dad before then. He is saying that he wants them there but he's terrified that they're going to play up. The service is at 12.30, meal at 3, evening do and buffet, and then the boys are spending the night with their grandparents and being brought back to us 2-3 days later. Again, 300 miles away. The current suggestion is also that the two boys spend Xmas with the whole of that side of their family, celebrating their great-grandparents 60th wedding anniversary.
If anyone has any thoughts, feelings, suggestions, anything, I need to hear them. Right now I'm desperate, and hurt, and furious. Please tell me what to do.
Sorry for the length.
eta: he's seen the children three times since January: once at New Year, once at the end of February, and the week before last. So it's regular, but not frequent, visitation.
Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.