Yk, when I first read the title and started reading your post, I was gonna say send them anyway and go into detail about how children really want to visit but say they don't for a host of reasons. But I trust my gut and my gut says that your boys are uncomfortable at their dads and my heart goes out. That said, it is your obligation to send them, and you said that their dad wants to see them. So here is what I am convinced you need to start to do. You need to communicate for them to your ex. Now I know that alot of ex's don't want to hear that the children don't want to visit b/c they think that the parent with physical custody is just trying to be a PITA. But what you should do is communicate to your ex privately first what the boys are saying. You need to let him know straight up that your intention is not for them to not visit, rather to treat them as people who deserve to be heard and respected. Let him know that if he has issue's with you he can address them the same way. At least this way if he feels that the boys are not portraying him accurately he can think about what might be bothering them and try to help them. It might shock him to know they are saying they don't want to visit? You should bring it up to him. If the boys tell you he bullies them about it, then you go back to him and address that issue and let him know that you will not tolerate that type of behavior towards them. Then you remind him that your eldest is almost old enough to "decide for himself" and that you really don't want him to stop seeing his dad and would like to work this out before something drastic happens. I think that will open up his eyes a little more if he thinks about how your oldest might be able to go into court and tell a Judge that his dad bullies him and that his grandma doesn't act like she wants him around. It is your duty to be a voice for your children. Don't be afraid to bring this up. I know it has been uncomfortable for me to bring things up to my ex for my almost 7 yo daughter who unfortunately lives with him. But the more I do, the better things get. I'll tell you that at first he was not too receptive, but I persisted and now he knows that I won't give in or give up when something is bothering our daughter and he has conceded to address issues when they arise instead of trying that I don't have to listen to you, were not married, she lives with me, I'm the boss of her crap. Good luck.