I can reply for my ex and his girlfriendS -
the 1st one had been in a relationship with a man with kids and was very attached to his DD. they were both devistated when they broke up - DD was attached to her and she loved her too. it was the GF who did not want to meet the boys (ages 1 and 3 when they started dating) they met after 4 months of dating
the 2nd GF is alot younger, has never been in a serious relationship and was thrilled to meet the kids so she was introduced as "J" very early on (also didn't help that ex was still seeing GF1 when seeing GF2 (but I have no control over that)
in both situations - the GF was introduced when my ex and GF felt it was the right time.
I worry about what will happen when GF2 is not in the picture anymore (alot of negatives to their relationship I think - GF2 is very young - 15 yrs younger- and wants kids and ex has a V)
I maintained a friendship with GF1 because I know the boys really loved her and she misses them too. They have seen eachother 4 times since ex broke up with GF1.
so with all that said.....I introduced the boys to DH about 2 months into the relationship but since he was from out of town, they saw him sporadically so he was *just* mom's friend - they were so use to seeing him visit, marriage was no big issue - they are now 3 and 5 yrs old and have a baby 1/2 brother and 3 wonderful step siblings......
my words to you - do what feels right - only you know.....
on a note - my ex refered to GF1 as dad's girlfriend...and had to explain that GF1 was not dad's GF anymore...that dad's GF was now GF2.....horrific concept for little ones in my opinion.
DH was "F" from the start - not a title of "belonging" so in case we broke up - I did not have to explain "he is no longer my BF and maybe mommy will find another BF some day.........
was that too confusing - maybe I am just sleep deprived and making no sence.