I have a 10 yr old daughter, my DH has a 12, 14 and 16 yr old boys. We have full custody of all. Married 1.5 yrs - has this been a hard year for us all - oh ya, but sometimes hard experiences make us better people and if there is one thing i want it is a hardworking, honest, dependable, loyal daughter. I think some people, especially women tend to look at the here and now and what is best for their young at this moment instead of what will be best for them in the long run. Before I got married i thought I had a little angel, and of course i still do - but I didnt "see" some things. I didnt see the "attitude", the whininess, how she would probably sell her soul for a piece of candy. hehe. I mean maybe I saw it, but I didnt "see" it. Anyway I do value my husbands advice, I think he is a good man, but if there is one thing i would change it is his delivery! I think too you are firmer with other children first, but to your own your kinder. Is firmer bad, these days most kids probably need firmer. Does my husband rinse his dish - no, but do we expect it from the kids - yes. My husband works hard and is a good provider. I guess the moral here is if your husband was being abusive you would know. If you are unsure than maybe you are just doing what mothers do - babying your baby????? Hope I made sense.