Well, it's that time of year again where we (my husband and I) get my husband's daughter for the summer. We live in MO and she lives in MS. Having her for the summer is a challenge in itself. She is a sweet girl, yet she is definitely not being raised the way my husband and I raise our two kids. She can be very obnoxious and loud and just doesn't have a whole lot of manners. Part of this is due to her acting out her emotions about how she feels about no longer having her daddy at home with her, which I completely understand. My husband and I have only been married 3 years. He was extremely close to his daughter, who is 11. Also, I NEVER talk to her on the phone when she calls, which is almost every day and I NEVER talk to her mother; although, on occasion when we do talk she is very cordial. My husband and her are also very cordial, so there are no problems there.
There is another huge situation that I just can't seem to get over and that is the child support issue. We pay the bio mom $500 per month which is a struggle every month for us. When they initially divorced and decided on child support, they both lived in Texas and even though it was a court order, they agreed on their own how much my husband would pay. The court system didn't set the amount. We are also responsible for carrying his daughter on our insurance. I hope someone can shed some light on this whole child support thing because this seems so unfair. My husband only makes about $40,000/year, I stay at home with our two children and the bio mom, I would guess, makes $35,000-$40,000/year. I have asked my husband to pursue getting the amount adjusted but it would take money to hire a lawyer and we just don't have it. On top of that, bio mom and stepdaughter now live in Mississippi and we are Missouri. Nobody is even in Texas! So, we would have to hire a Mississippi lawyer since that is where his daughter lives now. Yea, right! More money, not to mention we are not in MS! I don't think my husband really wants to do it anyway. He has so much guilt for leaving his daughter that he doesn't want to rock the boat or ever ask his ex-wife for anything.
The other thing I can't understand and that irks me is when the daughter comes to stay with us for the summer we are still sending bio mom the $500 a month. Of course, we are also incurring more expenses having the daughter with us as well. We also pay for her to fly here. We just dished out $300 for her plane ticket, ONE WAY! No wonder why we are always broke.
I hope someone can give me some advice. I am at my wits end. I feel so angry and bitter, which I know is not good. Is anybody else out there in a similiar situation.
Thanks for listening!