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#1 of 2 Old 07-03-2006, 02:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Fiance and I will be getting married at the end of this year. I have a dd that is 3 1/2 and SO has dds that are 8 and 6. DD lives with me and stbdsd's visit whenever SO is not working on weekends. He also takes them to dinner at least once a week if not more schedule permitting. Anyway, things are great with dd and dsd's. I get along great with them and they get along with me other than normal age appropriate problems. SO's ex is on her second livin boyfriend in 2 years. She will never get married until maintenance is over. I have to add that I know nothing about the boyfriend other than the girls say they like him and he is nice. But, they mentioned to their dad yesterday that they are awoken every Friday night at midnight to drive the boyfriend to his work. He is 35 and only works on weekends and does not own a car. They then stay home all weekend and the mother usually gets a sitter and goes out drinking or she just lays on the couch all weekend. They are not allowed to ride their bikes bc that means she has to go outside and watch them. They then go and pick him up again sunday night (don't know what time).

This does not sit well with SO or me. Are we overreacting? She has this man live in her home for free, SO pays double what he needs to in CS + maintenance so that the girls could remain in their home. During the divorce ex quit her job and was going to go back to school. SO felt that this was a good influence for his girls, but when the divorce was finalized she immediately went back to work and never attempted school. SO does not want to pay less in CS but it is very frustrating to have her have a live in boyfriend that pays for nothing and at the same time the girls have to be awoken every week in the middle of the night. She also tells the girls all the time that she can't afford to buy them clothes or anything extra bc their dad left. At the same time she gets a boob job and goes shopping every weekend for new clothes.

All of the money issues are annoying and make SO sad, but we would never try and change the status of CS and the maintenance ends in a few years. Our concern is the midnight wakings. Is there anything we can do about that? Are we overreacting? Should we just keep our mouths shut? Suggestions?
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#2 of 2 Old 07-03-2006, 03:10 AM
 
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I would ask your SO to talk to his ex about the late nights and inactivity for his DDs. Sounds like the ex needs to choose between her bf and her dda. So sorry, mama. It's terrible to watch children be ,istreated. I'm going through a fairly rough time myself!

Sarah - Mama to Vic (1/19/00), Syd (4/06/02) Sam (4/20/06-born at 30wk2d), JackJack (2/14/07) and Charlie (4/30/10)
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