Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Back in the bush...
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We are on vacation in Myrtly Beach this week, for our annual family reunion. Biomom and her bf also happened to be vacationing here this week, staying at a hotel about 20 minutes north of us.
When DH went Monday morning to pick up the girls to come stay with us for the day, DSD1 informed him that biomom had packed a bag for them because she (biomom) said that "daddy won't bring clothes for you. I have to send them so you can play." That irked me a bit, as I told biomom that I would be packing clothes for the girls, so she wouldn't need to worry about it. I assumed she had forgotten that conversation, and just wished she hadn't drug DSD into it.
Today, when DH went to pick the girls up, biomom had again sent a backpack full of clothes and toys, as well as making a point to show DH the $30 each Build-A-Bears the girls had made with her. In the car, DSD2 (4) informed my DH that if he got her head wet in the pool, biomom would yell at him and he wouldn't be allowed to play with them anymore.
I understand that 4yos mix things up, and misconstrue conversations constantly, but that is extreme. She's not vindictive, and wouldn't make something up just to upset DH. Again, I'll give biomom the benefit of the doubt that she didn't say exactly that, but I have to wonder what she's been saying to our girls to make them think that if their father plays with them, that he'll get yelled at?
Also, biomom spent the entire week preceding the trip lamenting the fact that she doesn't have any extra money to spend on vacation since she's raising two kids on one salary. We pay her $1000/month in child support. Somehow, however, the girls showed up with two new pairs of shoes each, 3 new bathing suits each, and the $30/piece bears. Now how does that make sense? We're worried that we're not going to make rent, and yet every time I turn around, the girls have brand new shoes and clothes and I hear a rant about a lack of funds, while in the same breath complaining about the girls having too many clothes. Two days before the trip, I picked the girls up from school and DSD1 was wearing skin tight bicycle shorts with a hole in the crotch, and DSD2 was wearing jelly shoes three sizes too small (they were a 7/8, she wears a 10 1/2) and a bathing suit that was cutting in to her tush and shoulders. The next day, when I returned the girls to biomom, she informed me that DSD2's shorts were "a little snug. She's NOT a 4, you know. Really, you should pay a little closer attention to her clothes."
UGH. I'm sorry, I'm just so sick of being spoken down to by this woman, and having my DH treated like crap as well.
Has anyone dealt with anything similar?
And to all biomoms out there, this is in no way an attack on you. I can imagine how difficult it must be to send your kids to another home, where you don't know what's happening or how they're being treated.
Sarah - Mama to Vic (1/19/00), Syd (4/06/02) Sam (4/20/06-born at 30wk2d), JackJack (2/14/07) and Charlie (4/30/10)