Should we have a happy thread? What we love about being a step-parent. - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 53 Old 07-28-2008, 05:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Oriole View Post
I can't believe I missed it last time *shrug*

What I love about step-parenting, is that...

* DSD made me into a better person, more patient, wiser, calmer.

* DSD made me into a better parent, my future kids owe her a big one.

* DSD didn't/doesn't have to love me or accept me. That's why I feel so that much more special when I notice that she does both, loves me and accepts me.

There. :
Yup. That's a biggie for me. We went to see Batman on Saturday and she was so happy to see me, and had bought me a water, and left the seat between her and her dad open for me to sit since I hadn't seen him in a few days.
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#32 of 53 Old 07-29-2008, 12:21 AM
 
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Here goes:

-I love that DSD does not see me as just her stepmom. She calls me her bonus mom, and she is my bonus daughter.

-I love that she really values my thoughts and input on thing like religion (her mom and DH have very different views).

-I love that she talks openly and freely with me about what is going on with her "growing up"-wise.

-I love that she trusted me so much that she came to me to ask if she could shave and if I would show her.

-I love that she recently rejected a day out with her dad to go shopping to have me go with her instead. She is a HUGE daddy's girl.

-I love our one on one time at night when DH is working and her sisters are in bed. It leads to lots of interesting conversations.

-I love that she is a great big sister to our girls. She sees no difference in them as being only half-sisters.

-I love that I get to impress values upon her that her father and I find important that aren't so important to her mother.

-I love that she wants to be a SAHM like me when she grows up and exclusively BF her child (she is only having one and it will be a girl LOL).

-I love that DH and I can sit around and joke about all the bonehead things she does just like we can our girls because he knows it is all from the heart.

-I love that she feels comfortable enough to talk to me about sex. She shared a silly sign she made up that means sex, but I am not allowed to tell anyone else--especially her mom and dad. :P

-I love that she shared with me where her secret stash of candy is at her mother's house. I will buy her some random things on occasion to keep it stocked.

-I love that she is in my life and making me a better parent and person.

Mama to Ava (12/03) , Leila (4/06) , Violet (11/08) , and bonus mama to Madison (7/98)
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#33 of 53 Old 07-29-2008, 01:40 AM
 
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I know it's been awhile since you asked to have this stuck, but now that I have seen it, I will DEFINATELY stick it. What a great thread, fek&fuzz!

Mama to two awesome kids. Wife to a wonderful, attached, loving husband. I love my job-- I'm a Midwife, Doula and Childbirth Educator, Classes forming now!

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#34 of 53 Old 08-25-2008, 08:09 AM
 
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Oh, man, this thread made me wish my dd had one of you for a sm.
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#35 of 53 Old 10-01-2008, 03:41 AM
 
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ooh, I'm new in here *waves* but

I just love seeing him and watching him play and getting the chance to talk to him and see how he's doing.

I love making him smile, I love asking him questions and making him think.

I love seeing him with his little sister, I love the way he looks at her.

I'm sure I'll be back to add. I'm glad this thread is here. I was perusing and there seems to be so much stress here, so this does well to lift my spirits because I think of him and not our circumstance!
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#36 of 53 Old 10-01-2008, 12:40 PM
 
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You know whats beautiful? If you start a thread about "what we love about being a parent?" you would get the same answers.

Positive vibes to all.:
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#37 of 53 Old 11-06-2008, 05:54 PM
 
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I loved when DSD came up with the idea to take my boys shopping for Pokemon cards before she left for college

I loved when I Invited 17yoDSS to DS 7 yo birthday, he said "I Want to come" and meant it

I love that I was the one to teach my DSD how to use a tampon the first weekend we moved in together (her mom can't use them)

I love hearing DSD say "these are my little brothers"

I love that each of my step kids reminde me of a different part of my youth I want to work on

I love being able to offer them third party insight with a perspective their parents don't have

I love getting the chance to be the kids of influence I would have wanted during my teenage years

I love that I am so different from their moms that I offer them a different perspective and different way of being to consider

I loved that my troubled DSS trusts me and was a good employee when I got him a job at my work

I love the idea of this thread, sometimes we get caught up in the challenges of a blended family, and forget the beautiful moments of them
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#38 of 53 Old 11-16-2008, 11:01 PM
 
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I love how I have learned to be less selfish.

I love how he has taught me to be a better parent.

I love watching him grow and knowing I am a part of it.

I love that he has me to turn to if he doesn't want to talk to mom or dad.

I love his hugs!
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#39 of 53 Old 12-31-2008, 03:50 PM
 
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There are certain days we think of as "the best days of our lives".


For me. My children being born, and then (not number second still one of the best days of my life)

Is when my dss came up to me when he was 6, gave me a picture from that said "I love my mommy." And asked if he could call me mom.

It was like giving birth. One of the happiest days of my life.

I love that he asks me things he wouldn't ask anyone else. I love that he tells me secrets and makes me pinkie swear promise not to tell. I love that he loves me. I love how we can look at each other and tell if we have had a bad day, If we see that it wasn't great for one of us, we are quick to suggest a movie in bed or a baking fest.

I love that he loves David Bowie, I love that he is into almost all of the music I love. I love that he is an artist like his dad. One of my favorite things about him is how he looks at his dad, my dh. Like this awe filled stare that his dad is the man, and is just the top of all things cool. He is an awesome kid.

Loving Dh, Mama x 4, Surrogate mother to 5. A born 2003, M and R girl/girl twins 2006, S and C boy/girl twins born 2010. Processing/healing.
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#40 of 53 Old 01-04-2009, 09:56 PM
 
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I love the fact the dsd looks for DADDY every morning when Im off to work...

I love when I walk in to mother in laws house wit bio mom dsd still yells daddy first lol

I love it when I see the smile and hug and get the kisses from dsd

I love it all.. no complaints about being a step parent! She means the world to me! All of my children do... its my family!!!
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#41 of 53 Old 01-15-2009, 01:03 AM
 
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I love that I have seen my DSD grow from a 13 month old baby when I met her daddy, to the bright, delightful, lovely preteen girl she is today.

I love that through over four years of TTC, she was my shining beacon of solace and hope. I am so blessed that Mona's mom and stepdad and my DH and I all get along and value each others' places in Mona's life.

I love that Mona looks at me as a mother, and that she is comfortable with having two moms, and I am eternally grateful to her mother for sharing this amazing girl with me since she was just a little bitty girl.

I love Mona's sense of humor and how much like her father she is sometimes.

I love that Mona is such a wonderful big sister to her little brother. She was almost eight when Colton was born, and has been the best sister a little boy could ask for.

I love that Mona is still willing to be my movie buddy, even though she's old enough now to go to movies with her friends instead.

I love that Mona trusts me with personal stuff, Mom type stuff. She is happy to have that kind of relationship with both her mom and I.

I love her. She is my daughter and she is my heart. Just as much as my son is. I couldn't ask for a better daughter.
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#42 of 53 Old 01-18-2009, 02:07 AM
 
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Im so happy about this thread.

DSS is 3 years old. I met him when he was 1 1/2.

I remember when we met. DP and I went to this daycare, he was in a crib getting ready for nap. DP picked him up and I was so happy to see him and kept smiling. I reached out my arms for him to come with me and John was telling me how he never goes to anyone when he's with him or his mom. He didnt think twice to get in my arms. It made me the most happy, DP kept saying the whole drive to his place that he NEVER does that with anyone.

I love that I used to wake up to a smiling boy pulling on my curls. He and DP and everyone they know are Caucasian. Im a brown skinned Dominican girl and he would just look at me with fascination. It made me feel pretty.

I love that I went from "he wont let me change his diapers", because he would start crying and kicking, to now he always coming to me saying "Can you change my diaper please?". It doesnt matter if daddy's around.

That when we first met, I would ask him for a kiss and he would give me a million and DP would ask him if he was trying to steal his girlfriend haha

That we've been living together for almost a year now and everybody from his mom's family trust me to take good care of him. He has stayed for over a week with just me during the daytime and it made me feel really good.

I love it that he learns from me. Has learned Spanish words, names of animals, phrases, to do chores.

I love that in the time I've been in his life. I seem to have become his favorite person. He wakes up and asks me "do you want to lay down with Jack?". He can spend all day snugged under a blankee with me. He's actually right now laying on the floor under the blankeet with me, playing with my hair, giving me kisses and touching my face.

I love that he taught me how to be an adult and become a mom, so now that baby number two is on the way I feel confident that Im going to be a good mom, because I already am.

I love that he's excited about being a big brother and kisses my belly and always talks about baby.

I love that when he gets a bubu, he cries my name and comes to me to give him a kiss and when I do says thank you and runs back to whatever he was doing. I was the one who started giving him kisses when he would get hurt, now he thinks he needs MY kisses to be ok.

I love that he always says that he wants ME, no matter who's around.

I love how many hugs and kisses we and I love you we share everyday.

I love that he always wants to play with me.

I love it when I tell him to not do something or to please do something and he gets sad because he thinks Im so mad at him he says "I want you" and I let him know "Im right here" and everything seems to be ok.

I love that he always wants to help me.

I love that sometimes he calls me mommy.

I love the way he looks at me and smiles, like he's happy to be around me.

I love how much I miss him when he's not here. How happy I am to see him.

I love how having him as a part of my family has taught me how unconditional love is. I see him as being MY family and I feel he sees me the same way. He's my son, even if I dont call him that out to respect to his mom, but I treat him like one.

I love that I genuinely care about him and his well being and it worries me how it affects him the things he's exposed to when he's at mommy's house and I secretly wish he could be with us ALL the time.

I love how it brings tears to my face when I hear him singing alone upstairs in his room, because it makes me so happy.

I just love him.
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#43 of 53 Old 01-18-2009, 02:26 AM
 
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Oh and I love that when we're coloring on the floor. He wants to color in the same page Im coloring because he wants to color WITH me.

I love that when his cousin asked him if he colored something, he said yes and that he made it for me and took it and gave it to me
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#44 of 53 Old 01-18-2009, 01:47 PM
 
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Auraji, you brought tears to my eyes. What a lucky little boy AND a lucky stepmama.

Quote:
That we've been living together for almost a year now and everybody from his mom's family trust me to take good care of him. He has stayed for over a week with just me during the daytime and it made me feel really good.
This you should really be proud of...truly. It can be so hard to have a good relationship in blended situations. I am lucky too to get along well with my DSD's mother, and I am so grateful to her for the trust she places in me.

Really, your post was beautiful.
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#45 of 53 Old 01-21-2009, 03:24 AM
 
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Originally Posted by melijack1 View Post
Auraji, you brought tears to my eyes. What a lucky little boy AND a lucky stepmama.



This you should really be proud of...truly. It can be so hard to have a good relationship in blended situations. I am lucky too to get along well with my DSD's mother, and I am so grateful to her for the trust she places in me.

Really, your post was beautiful.

We're both very lucky.

It brought tears to my eyes to write it and thank you, the words just came pouring out of my heart. I need to show DP this thread
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#46 of 53 Old 02-18-2009, 08:37 PM
 
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my dss, age 10, is a wonderful big brother to my own two boys.
I love that they don't feel like "half-brothers" at all.
I love that dss has so many extra sets of grandparents.
I love that I can give him what is lacking from his relationship with his mother.
I love that dh and myself can show dss what a good relationship looks like.
I love that my dss feels comfortable talking to me his feelings.
I always consider him my first child even though I missed the first half of his life.
Because of my dss, I have healed my relationship with my own stepmother. I never knew how hard it must have been for her.
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#47 of 53 Old 04-14-2009, 11:45 PM
 
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I love that my step-son casually mentioned "my three parents" the other day.

I love that he likes to help me bake.

I love the memory of him sitting with my older, biological sons and being asked by a park ranger (before our wedding) if they were all brothers. They all looked at each other and my step-son said, "Well, not yet. But we're gonna be, aren't we Dad?"

I love that he came to live with us the day after our baby was born. It was wonderful, having everyone under one roof.

I love that, for his "summary of the school week" on his assignment sheet, he wrote, "It was a great one, because my stepmom chaperoned our field trip!"

One woman in a house full of men:  my soul mate:    or... twin sons:(HS seniors) ... step-son:  (a sophomore) ... our little man:   (a first grader) ... and there is another female in the house, after all:  our
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#48 of 53 Old 05-31-2009, 02:15 AM
 
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There is lots I could say, but ab ove all, I love that she loves my children as she would her own (she is 18, I've been step Mum for 13 years and her Mum died when she was 4, so it's all slightly different anyway) when she is with them after school and during holls and that she a=said that going away to college is only tainted by the knowledge that she won't see them as much.....

::::
Welsh Mummy to My long awaited beautiful boy and girl. Proud Wife of my best friend.
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#49 of 53 Old 08-03-2009, 11:46 PM
 
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i love being a s'mom

i love making ice cream sandwiches and he loves to watch me bake

i love giving hugs and kisses

i love being a mom

i love so many more things than this
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#50 of 53 Old 01-12-2010, 07:27 PM
 
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i love that my sd's have their own special name for me

i love that they have their own special names that i call them too

i love how bean only wanted me when she was in her troublsome twos

i love all the memories i have of them growing up and that we can sit and share them together

i love how they seek me out during our access time and each of them comes for a private alone time cuddle and talk about whatever suits their precious hearts

i love that they trust me to be someone they can talk to about their feelings regarding their parents divorce and not being together and know that i am safe and wont judge or put my feelings into the mix

i love the way titi called our "yoga time" "yogurt time" when she was small

i love that they know that i know how much they love their mom and i dont feel threatened by it and that i always support her as their mom even when they are angry or sad about her behaviour

i could go on and on, but mostly i love that i have been so blessed to have two more beautiful daughters to cherish

this is such a beautiful thread

vs
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#51 of 53 Old 05-03-2010, 03:27 PM
 
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I love the smiles I get when I come home from work and the kids see me!

I love how excited the kids got right before and right around (and to be honest, still now) when I moved in!

I love how when we're walking somewhere, someone is usually holding my had (if its not DP, its one or both of the kids). It makes me smile so!

I adore when they call me Sara-beara.

I love that I'm part of this family and that the kids are as excited as us to be starting to expand our family!

DP to Sara, two crazy kids running around, lil dude born 11-1-11babyf.gif and the new guy is home !! babyboy.gif  (5/2/12)

 

 

 

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#52 of 53 Old 05-03-2010, 03:36 PM
 
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I have another one.

The other day my oldest ds (step) said to me, "I'm so fortunate to have you in my life. I think I'd die if I didnt have you to talk too".

I told him *I'm* the fortunate one.
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#53 of 53 Old 05-17-2010, 11:21 AM
 
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This is such a great thread.

I loved when I became "mum" instead of "Miss Rachel", and my heart about exploded when he graciously offered 'Fi can call my mummy "mummy" too if she wants to.'

Rachel partner of Nat, mummy of Sam (4) & Fi (4)
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