I dont think boys or girls should be threatening, defying and lying. I have 3 teenage step sons - have been married to their father almost 2 yrs and I will say it has been a huge adjustment for me. I have a 10 yr old daughter of my own and we just were not used to the wrestling and hitting and argueing and loudness and spitting, man you name it. Some of it I have to say is boys will be boys. But character defining things like lying, threatening, disobeying authority somehow someway you need to try and break thru to your husband that this is a big deal for you and for them as they grow into adulthood and become men. I do recommend staying the long haul and persevering thru this. have you and your husband considered counseling to better communicate. It can be hard to get thru to a parent about their child whom they adore. I know my husband says i am stubborn as can be about my daughter and I can gaurantee you he is stubborn about his boys.