Question about kids feeling left out / Need Advice - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 08-02-2006, 04:04 PM - Thread Starter
katybear mama's Avatar
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This is the deal - Saturday dp and I are driving from where we live (Long Island) to North Carolina to pick up his ds. This will be the first time I am meeting his son and his son's mother. His son and my daughter are the same age, 8. My dd is very excited to meet his son. So what's the problem? Dp wants to drive down and back in one day. I think the kids will be crazy in the car that long - at least my dd will be , she is very high-spirited. Dp suggested that we just go by ourselves to pick his son up. I'm afraid this will amke my dd feel left out. Am I right? I could just be overreacting because I'm nervous about all this..What do you think?

Let me just add a little background info...dp and I have been living together for about 8 mos. I have primary custody of my dd. Everything has gone well so far concerning blending families and I don't want to disturb the peace by making "a mountain out of a molehill", if that's the case....

"While Eeyore frets ...and Piglet hesitates...and Rabbit calculates...and Owl pontificates...Pooh just is."
taken from The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff
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#2 of 3 Old 08-02-2006, 04:17 PM
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Is your daughter old enough where you could ask her about it? Is there somewhere for her to stay while you and DP go? A fun sleepover at Nana's might not make her feel left out, but being stuck somewhere else might. It might be all in how you frame it.

Talk to your DP about why he wants to do the trip all in one day. Is it money, does he just want to be back home and settled?

I hope it works out...and good luck.
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#3 of 3 Old 08-02-2006, 05:00 PM
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I would just ask your dd what she thinks - my oldest is 8 and I could totally ask him what he thought. That drive is very long for one day, so I can imagine it would be hard for her. If DS is staying for a while, then your DD shouldn't be too upset about not being there for the pick-up (especially when you explain that it will be a very long trip, not a "vacation").
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