thats a hard one because kids will always have a curiosity, a desire, a love - whatever you want to call it for their biological parents. My husband decided to go ahead and let his kids (he has full custodybecause of her drug problem) see her every other weekend at one point after we were married because she was at a "camp" that allowed her to better herself and had a positive tone and was kid friendly. Needless to say it turned out to be kind of disastrous. She filled their heads in a subtle way about how our marriage is wrong and not biblical, she would put subtle guilt trips on them, and just had them on eggshells sometimes if they accidently said my name. She was fun and nice a lot, but would sprinkle it with weirdness. We had a lot of conflict at our "new" home and a lot of it stopped once my husband decided to cut off completely their visits. She would mail them letters, but we intercepted and read them and she would write longwinded letters about how she missed and cared for them, but she would throw in a bible scripture that talked about evil people reaping what they sow, etc..So we read the first letter with them and explained why it was not appropriate and then after that all other letters we just threw in the trash and didnt mention to them. You know I know the kids miss her and wonder about her, but it seemed to screw them up more when they had contact at such a young and impressionable age (13,14,16). So for now contact is cut off - it has been a year. I think emails will start happening soon, but at this point they will probably have a relationship with her when they are old enough to know how to handle her.