Nora scares the tar out of me. (the Christmas photo...how INAPPROPRIATE was that??? Not so much that she was there, but her outfit and laying across the children like she was at a Frat party??? Ugh!)
My dh's ex always thought of dh as her property, even though they had not been in a relationship for a number of years when we got together (had not been a big part of dss life for that matter either), but when it looked like dh and I were serious she started requesting more visits and wanting dss on her own. She demanded that it was her turn to have dss for Christmas the first Christmas that we were together. DH told her that he had to do all the work, no way was she getting the fun. She could come see him over the holidays, but could not take him on her own (that's spelled out in the custody agreement now too).
THEN he looks at me and asks (not in front of her thank god) if it would be alright to invite to Christmas dinner to shut her up. I asked him if he was f$#%ing crazy. He looked at me for a second, then replied "When I asked that question, yes. Yes I was."
BTW she never did come see him over the holidays.
She could easily have become a "Nora" but we established our boundaries. Not so much because she was an interference, but more because her influence was not appropriate for our boy. But that's another story for another thread.